Max,Joy, Ethan, and Ella's Blog

Secrets

2011-08-06T15:39:00.002+08:00

Do you ever get tired of them? I have a big one and I'm really tired of it.

Almost every five years I blow up. I can feel myself losing it again and just realized, yep, my five years are just about up.

I was sexually abused when I lived at home. I'm not going to say when I was a child, because sexual innuendoes continued through high school and into college. Basically I just had to be around this person and I felt like a slut. Those who should have protected me, fed me to the sharks. I was told repeatedly to keep it a secret. Don't tell the bishop because they can't really keep a secret. Don't tell your teachers because they'll tell the police and we won't have a family anymore. Etc.

WELL IT'S NOT A SECRET ANYMORE!

I would happily keep it a secret if it would STOP! or at least the effects of it stop. But I'm seeing the low self esteems, the self sacrificing, anything-to-get-me-out-of-this-situation behavior trickle down into the next generation.

Like I said, about every five years I blow up, and there's apologies and tears and I cave every time, full of guilt, "How could I bring this up again, it's so painful for HIM!" The last time he cried, "I've done bad things but I've repented. I don't participate in those things anymore. They make me sick. I've done bad things but I'm not a bad person." Because I respect that plea, I'm keeping the person's name out of this blog (but until there's some excommunication, I mean REAL BISHOP IS INVOLVED REPENTANCE, this torment will never end for you, and who knows what will happen five years down the road), this is more of a plea to those in my family who are choosing to pretend that this is not a problem. Look at your kids. Is it worth it? He needs to feel the consequences of his actions if he can ever hope to get better (He's not the only one, as you all well know). You might be telling yourself he is better and he doesn't do that anymore...but you're wrong, because I can still see a lot of emotional manipulation going on (guilt is a wonderful persuader). And not just by him, but by those who choose to stand by him. We as a family need to learn how to love the sinner and have ZERO TOLERANCE FOR THE SIN.

So to "HIM" I say, you will never have a relationship with me, my husband, and especially my children. I love you and pray for you, but that does not mean, I need to have a relationship with you. I am DONE. To my mother and father and she who is married to him, until you realize that your responsibility is to protect AT ALL COSTS even telling the "secret" if you have to (heaven forbid, right?) then the same goes for you. I am DONE!

To my nieces and nephews, I pray for you with all my heart. If you ever need to talk, I am just an e-mail away. All our conversations are strictly confidential.

To all my other friends and colleagues who don't know how to respond to this blog, just don't. If you NEED to talk about it because you have some of the same issues, we'll talk for sure, otherwise you can just talk to me like you never saw this blog. I won't know the difference.

This is my last blog. If you want to continue a relationship with me, you know my e-mail.

Stop Baptizing your Sister!

2011-08-03T15:03:00.002+08:00

I find myself saying that over and over again lately and I have to work so hard to keep my face straight when I'm saying it. My son's favorite game right now is baptizing Ella. Ella screams every time his hands come close to her head. I'll hear him saying, "I'll baptize you, okay?" and poor trusting Ella says, "Okay." and Ethan puts his hand on her head and one in the air and says, "In the name of Jesus Christ, I...(gibberish)...amen." Then he puts her in a choke hold and then, THUNK! She's hit her head on whatever is behind her. Baptize has become a swear word around here. I've been the victim of his choke hold and I can't seem to convince him that I've already been baptized and he doesn't have the priesthood. "I'm a priesthood man, mom." We SERIOUSLY need to get out more.

Today I saw my first COBRA! because I almost stepped on him! Max always says how scared he is of snakes and I was always cool about saying, "Oh, just throw a rock and they scurry away." Not like spiders (bigger than your fist around here). They just stare at you and say, "Oh you did NOT just throw a rock at me." Anyway. I was running this morning in our awesome park. I was running on the edge of the path and I heard something hiss. I thought it was a cat and I jumped and ran faster before turning around as I was running to see what hissed. The thing was scurrying away but it had been right on the other edge of the path where I'd been running. It's head was up in the air with the cheek things all opened up, ready to strike. I described it to Max and he said, "There are six deadly snakes in Taiwan and that one tops the list." My kids are not playing in the trees at the park EVER AGAIN. I didn't like them playing in the trees anyway. Too many spiders. We're sticking to the slide from now on...and we might say prayers before we go. Extra insurance.

Speaking of prayers, my son now says the meal prayer like this, "Oh God the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, to bless this food, so we'll remember Him. Amen." I guess he is a priesthood man.

Auditory Learner

2011-07-09T21:59:00.002+08:00

I'm reading this book called "Discover Your Child's Learning Style" and I'm now certain I'm an auditory learner, which explains why I can remember in detail conversations I've had, but can't remember what clothes my babies wore today. That's why I talk to myself, and most of the time out loud...so embarrassing. That's why I can read a sentence 50 times over and not understand it, but if I read it out loud once, I'll never forget it. That's why hilighting the scriptures just makes me crazy rather than help me read, but reading five versus to my kids every night produces new and inspiring insights. That's also why I did so well in school. I always felt stupider than the other kids and could not figure out why my grades were always higher. I worked hard, but public schools also cater to the auditory learner, while visual and kinesthetic learners are dismissed as retarded and ADD. Not always, but much more often than it should happen.

Just a word on taking responsibility

2011-07-08T22:22:00.002+08:00

I know for myself what a powerless feeling it is to believe that all your problems are because of someone else. So a small part of me feels sorry for A's father, not because his problems are because of other people, but because he believes they are.

Repentance

2011-07-08T10:31:00.001+08:00

A's father told me that he was repenting, that he'd made a lot of changes. But if he had really repented, he would have felt the pain he had put his family through and would therefore respect their boundaries. Once again, there would be no demands for forgiveness because that would be an encroachment on boundaries that he would understand he had no right to do.

So what does it mean to "Turn the Other Cheek"?

2011-07-06T15:32:00.002+08:00

I don't know what that means. But after studying a little bit the way Jesus interacted with the Pharisees, I just don't think it means what most Christians interpret it to mean.

So what IS forgiveness?

2011-07-06T14:39:00.002+08:00

My material today comes from this talk. President Sorensen says in this talk, among other things:

1. Forgiveness means that problems of the past no longer dictate our destinies, and we can focus on the future with God’s love in our hearts.

2. Forgiveness does not require us to accept or tolerate evil. It does not require us to ignore the wrong that we see in the world around us or in our own lives. But as we fight against sin, we must not allow hatred or anger to control our thoughts or actions.

3. A woman who is abused should not seek revenge, but neither should she feel that she cannot take steps to prevent further abuse.

This story sites the example of Joseph of Egypt. He was sold into Egypt by his abusive brothers and suffered many injustices and trials because of that action. But he forgave his brothers instead of nursing the desire to seek revenge which he could have been planning while he was in jail. The following is my own interpretation of that story so take it for what it's worth. I believe that Joseph forgave his brothers long before he ever saw them in Egypt, which is why he didn't waste his time making plans for revenge. He set aside his anger, gave the responsibility to decide how much justice and mercy should be met back to God so he could focus on his own future instead of theirs. But if that is the case then why didn't he just reveal himself the first time he saw them in Egypt? Why did he go through the procedure of sending them back for Benjamin and then making Benjamin appear a thief, etc. He wanted to know whether they had changed before he revealed himself to them as their brother, right? But why? A's father would say he forgave them so he should just be their friends. Forgiveness should not be contingent on whether they had repented. So why did he take such trouble to see if they were repentant before he revealed himself?

Well if my analysis of this story is correct then Joseph's forgiveness was not contingent on his brothers' repentance. Only the continuation of a close relationship with his brothers was contingent on their repentance.

I would like to also note that (once again if I have interpreted the story correctly) Joseph's forgiveness did not affect his brothers lives in the least. They were not around or even have an idea where Joseph was when the forgiveness was extended. Christ wants us to forgive, but in many cases the offender has no idea that he/she has offended. Why does forgiveness need to be extended in this case? It's to free the offended, not the offender.

I once received a note from someone who hurt me deeply with a written plea, "I need your forgiveness." That plea was and is infuriating to me. And this is one of the things that I screamed at A's father. An offender does not need forgiveness from the offended person. The only person they need forgiveness from their Heavenly Father, which, granted, does require ASKING forgiveness from the offended as opposed to DEMANDING forgiveness as my offender and A's father had done. Forgiveness is a process and a gift meant to free the offended, not the offender.

What forgiveness isn't.

2011-07-04T23:12:00.003+08:00

For arguments sake, let's say there is a woman married to a recovered alcoholic. He was an alcoholic but he has repented and she has forgiven him. You go to her house for dinner and you're early. Her husband hasn't come home yet, but the dinner's already on the table. There as one of the beverages for the night is wine. You ask the woman, "I thought your husband wasn't drinking anymore." "He's doesn't." "Well, I don't drink. Who's the wine for?" "Nobody. I just bring it home every once in a while. My husband won't drink it because he's repented and I forgive him."

This story doesn't even make sense right? What woman in her right mind would do that? It's just mean. A recovering alcoholic should not have to face his worst temptation every night to show that he has repented and the spouse shouldn't be throwing the temptation in his face every night to show that she forgives him. It just doesn't make sense.

What if the husband's problem wasn't alcohol? What if it was pornography? Should the wife be going to get him porn and putting it on the table for him? It wouldn't make sense, right? That would be idiotic. What if it's sexual abuse. If a child has been sexually abused by her father, when that child grows up, should she let her father take care of her children to show that she has forgiven? Well, what if the temptation is verbal and physical abuse and the temptation is his (or her because you know that happens too) spouse? What if a man is verbally abusive to his spouse? Should that spouse have to put herself (the temptation to commit the sin) in front of her husband every night to show that she has forgiven him? (I can feel some eyebrows rising and thoughts coming to the mind "That's different".) That's what A's father defines forgiveness as.

Every situation is different. My argument now is that forgiveness is not being an idiot as many perpetrators define it to be. If I go back into an abusive situation or let my children grow up in an abusive environment to show that I am a forgiving person... then I'm an IDIOT. I'm just saying what forgiveness isn't.

It needs to be said!

2011-07-04T14:54:00.002+08:00

I have a girl in my young women's class called A. She's a new convert and is on fire. Her father was the first to be baptized and then he brought his kids. His wife wanted nothing to do with it. A's little brother obviously has emotional/anger issues. As I watched these two interact at church with their dad I started to make my own conjectures as to why. I said nothing to anyone about my theories except my husband because he is the Young Men's president. Then one day the dad came to church without his kids and a huge bandage across the top of his head. At the end of church I ran into him and asked, "Where's A? We missed her today." Then he told me. "She's shut off her phone because she doesn't want to talk to me. It's her grandma's fault (on her mother's side). She's always hated me. Can you tell me something? I beat up my wife before and I'll admit it was bad, but sometimes I'd come home from work and the house was a mess and she just can't do anything right. Can you blame me? and then she thinks she can take my kids away from me. No one thinks of the dad. Nobody thinks about how I'm suffering. My kids miss me. Especially my son. He loves me."

I was dumbfounded. He was bellowing all of this to me in the middle of the church halls. All could hear and I didn't know what to say. "I finally said to cut him off. I can't support you. You need to repent and talk to your bishop." I smiled and walked away, but this haunted me all week. I was so proud of A and her mom and really hoped I'd never see them again.

Then the next week A's dad was at church again. My husband and I are YM/YW presidents so he comes to find us after sacrament meeting. "I want to ask you how my kids are doing in your class. I keep asking for forgiveness but A won't forgive me. She says she has to protect her mom but Jesus teaches us to forgive." I was livid. I started screaming at him. If there were people at church that didn't know he was a wife beater they all know now. During the entire thing he just smiled a stupid smile and then said, "You've taught my daughter well. She acts just like you."

So my next three blogs are going to be dedicated to this dumb a@& and all the other dumb a@%'s around the world. (I still can't bring myself to say it, but I'm thinking it all the time).

1. What is Christlike forgiveness and what does it look like?

2. What is repentance and what does it look like?

3. The freedom that comes from taking responsibility for your actions.

And anything else I think of that needs to be said, because it does need to be said.

Great Day

2011-07-02T22:47:00.004+08:00

I went to the temple with my husband these last two days. So many prayers were answered. Especially during the initiatory. I just wanted to write someplace about how grateful I was for such a great day and spiritual uplift.

Mormon messages

2011-06-28T17:51:00.001+08:00

This made me ball my eyes out after I'd just yelled at my kids to stay in their room because they wouldn't take their naps... Refocus!

Fourth of July, Help!!!

2011-06-28T09:14:00.002+08:00

I've decided that I'm going to spend this week doing fourth of July activities with my kids so they will understand that they are Americans too...but that's as far as I've gotten. Other than bar-b-cue and fireworks, what can I do with my kids? I think we might be making a crate paper american flag today...Hah! good luck to me!

I love nursery

2011-06-12T22:44:00.002+08:00

Today after church the nursery leader told me that today just before class got out, Ethan and his little friend were running and dancing circles around the nursery (they're the only two in nursery at this point) and when it was time to end class, they had Ethan say the closing prayer. He said the usual stuff and then thanked Heavenly Father "for letting us do this" and then he got up, jumped up and down and ran a little bit, came back, and finished the prayer. Awesome!

Diet woes...

2011-06-08T22:57:00.003+08:00

I've been saying, "I'll try again tomorrow," all week. Grrr! I have to laugh at myself. It's hard to find time to exercise. Sleep is so precious around here. So when I take the kids to the park I just make a deal with myself that when Ethan runs, I run. We go every day so that gives me a little bit of real exercise. I decided I would be an awesome mom by putting both my kids in the stroller (that poor thing is not designed to carry that much weight) and teach them fast and slow. My son said to me, "Faster mom," in English so as a reward I started to run faster...or at least I tried. I apparently only have one speed. There is no faster. I kept telling him, "I'm running faster!" but I don't think he was fooled. As for controlling my calorie intake..."I'll try again tomorrow."

Just a few pictures

2011-05-31T15:50:00.002+08:00

Just letting you know we are all still kicking.

Contratulations!

2011-05-31T15:14:00.004+08:00

Congrats to my little sis Angela and her husband John. I only got to leave a message on her phone so I have no details yet but John Gideon (I hope I spelled that right) was born May 29, 2011. Happy Birthday!

On a diet again...

2011-05-31T14:58:00.002+08:00

I never did let you all know how my last diet went. My goal was 55 pounds. That would have put me in the middle of my ideal weight range (as calculated be many websites...however accurate that may be). I lost 40lbs before Chinese New Year hit me. I've gained five back. I think one of the reasons I was able to lose last time was because I put it on this blog. I felt like people knew about it and it would be embarrassing to not be successful. So here I am again, letting you all know that I have started another diet again today and the dialogue of my frustrations will be recorded here until I can get past the denial stage again. Yesterday I had a huge anniversary dinner with my husband. My goal was to eat until I was sick and I was successful. It's frustrating to me now that I even feel hungry today because I definately ate enough calories yesterday for two days...

Is it just me?

2011-05-22T00:31:00.004+08:00

You know the picture of the Army of Helaman with Helaman sitting on his horse? Is there anyone else out there who thought they were called stripling warriors because they aren't wearing shirts in that picture...or was that just me?

I also thought that the sealing room of the temple was called a sealing room because of the beautiful chandeliers.

Congratulations!!!!

2011-05-19T23:16:00.001+08:00

What a beautiful family!!

This blog is not so fun anymore...

2011-05-14T10:38:00.002+08:00

I keep getting these calls on my cell phone in the middle of the night or at least a little bit late, I think I got one early in the morning. They always say private on the id which means it's most likely made using a phone card and it's most likely coming from America. I don't know who it is because they hang up or just don't talk when I answer. And I'm sorry I have to use this blog to call them out but this is the only link I have to America so I am guessing they are probably watching this blog. So whoever you are, if you have something to say to me SAY IT! If you just want to hear me say hello, just know in my heart I am reaching through the phone and strangling you. This behavior is creepy beyond belief.

Where are you Cindy

2011-04-22T10:56:00.004+08:00

Cindy, how do I get ahold of you now? Are you still using your weber email?

Carrot Cake Shout Out to WSU

2011-04-21T23:38:00.002+08:00

I made carrot cake today complete with cream cheese frosting. I put it in my mouth and was taken right back to Weber State. Diane used to make the best carrot cake and I could just sit and eat her frosting right out of the bowl. It put me on memory lane. That was definitely the best job in the history of jobs for me. I remember M&M wars, and floating quarters. Judy's philosophy on life and Patti's random cussing, banner Ron and I could go on and on and on. I just think it's really rare to be able to think of a job and smile every time you do, but I do smile if not laugh every time I think of the good times at Weber State Accounting. I don't know if Diane follows this blog, but just know, I miss your cake among a good many, many other things. Thanks for all the good times everyone!

PS I don't know if you all remember the apron you made for me with all of your pictures and well wishes, but I use it almost every day. You know, the days I cook...

For those of you who understand Roma Pinyin

2011-04-12T22:07:00.001+08:00

My son opened his prayer like this tonight:

Women zai Tianshang de poo...

I might go to hell, but it made me laugh.

Happy Birthday Ella

2011-04-12T13:58:00.003+08:00

It was Ella's birthday on Saturday. The poor girl had an ear infection to celebrate her day. But despite runny noses and hooping cough we still managed to have pizza and cake at grandma's house. We also did zhuazhou and Ella will be a mechanic when she grows up as well as musician and mathematician.
Ella can say her own name, she loves to eat and climb. She climbs up her brother's slide and then screams until someone helps her down so she can climb up again. She loves her brother and especially loves to touch his tongue (hence the flu that they just keep passing back and forth). I can't believe it's already been a year.

Truffles

2011-03-26T13:38:00.002+08:00

I feel like I've seen everything here and then something happens that makes me think, "Are you serious?" At Costco (yep, we have one here) they sell a chocolate called Truffles and it's melt in you mouth dark chocolate. They were so popular last year that whenever they put them on the shelves it was like the day after Thanksgiving. Everyone was pushing and shoving and so they made the rule that you could only buy two boxes at a time. Really awesome chocolate so I didn't think much about this craze. But then there was a news broadcast that many people told me about in their anger. Apparently Truffles don't contain any truffles. Now I don't know why they would believe that this chocolate contained a very rare and expensive mushroom, but they thought it did. Now Costco can't get rid of their Truffles. I told them I'd take care of it.

Tickle me Elmo

2011-03-19T10:01:00.002+08:00

Ethan is into Elmo this past month. Sometimes I get so caught up in all the bad things that are happening around me (i.e. tsunamis, earthquakes, radiation, etc) that it surprises me a little that I can still sit down with my son and chuckle at a villain's joke, "I tried out for Maria in West Side Story. They said I wasn't right for the part. What do they know. I feel pretty." "Oh, yes boss...if you took a weed whacker to those eyebrows."

We're okay

2011-03-12T13:01:00.003+08:00

Taiwan hasn't had anything happen to it, but we are praying hard for the people of Japan.

Is it a guy thing?

2011-03-05T07:26:00.002+08:00

I had this gem of a conversation with my husband the other day:
Max: Did you already cook what's left of the dragon weed? (That's my own translation. I have no idea what that leafy-green is called)
Joy: No, I threw it away.
Max: What? Why?
Joy: It was frozen.
Max: *look of terrible dissapointment* Oh.
Joy: *sigh of frustration* Babe, I keep telling you. If you put vegetables in the back of the refrigerator, it WILL freeze, but you don't believe me.
Max: I thought you'd see it and pull it forward *look of mischief now*
Joy: Are you serious? Please tell me you're not serious. And besides it was in a mettle pot. I thought it was soup until I needed some soup and found frozen vegetables.
Max: Well next time I put vegetables in a pot, I'll tell you so you won't think it's soup.

Gratitude

2011-02-05T15:23:00.002+08:00

I woke up this morning to a war zone. Do you ever have mornings like that? There were cheerios all over the ground (the best cereal in the world. I throw it on the table, Ethan throws it around the house, and Ella can spend hours doing a treasure hunt for them. Awesome!), my table was still dirty from dinner last night. The dishes weren't washed (dangerous in cockroach infested Taiwan). The coffee table was pushed next to the tv by my son so he'd have easy access to untouchables. I couldn't count all the diapers, poopy and not so poopy. Clothes were everywhere, all of them full of peepee (Has anyone else noticed that the amount of peepee in the winter is DEFINATELY more than the amount of peepee in the summer?) I found mildew on the walls of my master bathroom and crayon on the walls of my son's bedroom. And in the midst of all this I looked at my own bedroom and could see that it was the most out of control of them all. And what did this bring to mind? President Hinckley said, after the passing of his wife, "I'm grateful for things to do." Oh wow!! I'm soooooo grateful today.

What's for breakfast?

2011-01-23T15:26:00.003+08:00

Yesterday I walked out the front door of our apartment complex and was stopped by a woman who said in perfect english, "Have you ever had a papsmere?" And to my horror there was a trailor pulled up to our apartment that was tall enough to stand in and long enough to put stirrups. All I could think was, "You gotta be kidding me. This has 'I'm taking your eggs' written all over it.

Not so serious

2011-01-20T14:34:00.004+08:00

I have actually got a little time on my hands (that is if Ella will stay down for her nap) so some updates:

Max:He's hating his job (but who isn't) and so is working on some backup plans right now. We're not going to do anything crazy like quit until we have something else with a steady income, but we are definately making some goals to be done and done within the next five years. He is the Young Men's president at church and had the boys promise him that they would read the scriptures, pray, and write in their journals every day. Then they surprised him and actually did it, so now he's trying to do it too (hillarious!). Therefore, Facebook is his new journal, and the whole world knows when I go grocery shopping. Max also answers a lot of questions on Yahoo Knowledge about the church and is going up to Tainan tomorrow to see a young man baptised that he introduced to the church. This will be Max's 4th Yahoo Knowledge baptism. He says it's easy to be a missionary when you don't have to face them:)

Joy: I saw a movie on Emma Smith that you all probably saw months ago, but it has put me in the best mood, so my kids are loving life right now. I haven't lost my temper in almost a week. It gave me a lot to think about and even more to be grateful for. Let's see, I got a sewing machine for Christmas and after threading, I promptly put it away and haven't pulled it out since. I'm going to go to class next month to learn how to use the thing though, so hopefully one day I'll be wearing clothes that actually fit me. I'm going to be planting a garden...on my patio this year (Help me sister Svedi!). It is in preparation for the second coming, because it's happening soon and I'm afraid I won't be able to get vegetables (then my diet will be ruined), BUT I'm thinking that if I actually manage to get the thing going, then it's already the end of the world and I'm too late.

Ethan: He is a cute stinker. He plays with his sister soooo cute. I love it when I'm washing dishes to see them both sitting on the floor watching TV and Ethan pulling little pieces of bread of his sandwich to give to his sister to eat. Max and I are the presidents of the youth organizations here in Nanzi so we get the youth videos at the beginning of the year. Ethan loves to dance to the song "Priesthood Men" and screams and over and over, "Priesthood Men!" but if you didn't hear him singing it to the song, you'd have no idea what he was saying because his "Priesthood" sounds nothing like priesthood. He's been really good about peepeeing in the potty. We're still doing diapers for bed but I feel the progress. It kills me that when he's finally figured it out, I'm going to have to start Ella. He's an awesome talker and it's all in Chinese although his Chinglish is pretty good. He says things like, "Wo yao diaper." Stuff like that. He's got a very southern Taiwan accent when he speaks Chinese. There's a lot of la's at the end of sentances and he says baitou instead of baituo, etc. The other day he locked himself and his little sister in the car with the keys. His favorite thing in the world is a sucker and a computer. Every time he sees one of those two things within his reach, he starts doing a maniachal laugh that makes me shudder.

Ella: She is so fun lately. I'm kind of sad that she is already nine months old. I spent a lot of my time wishing that she was a little older and less clingy. I finally have my wish but I feel like I wasted those first months being cranky. She now is officially a crawler and it's opened a whole new world for her. She's finally starting to explore the house all on her own which is awesome. My house hasn't been so clean since Ethan was at this stage. It either gets picked up and put in the garbage or picked up and put in her tummy. She's started playing peekaboo, where she's the one that hides and jumps out at us. She also is a talker. bababa mamama and oooooboy are some of her favorite sounds. She is an eater too. I can't find the bottom of her tummy. Her favorite drink is apple juice and learned super fast how to suck it through a straw. She wouldn't learn to use a straw for water.

I think that's all I can think of for now. Hope you all are having a happy 2011. Oh and Happy Chinese New Year because I doubt very much that I will write before then.

No Comments Please

2011-01-13T21:50:00.002+08:00

I had a dream a while back that has a lot of meaning for me. I feel like a should share it, whether as a warning or as a reminder, I'm not sure. I just don't feel good keeping it to myself. But then again, I hope that people will respect it and not laugh at it or me. Hence the title of this entry. If you think this applies to you then put it in your heart and run with it. If you don't think it does and want to laugh, go ahead, just don't tell me about it. I'm going to omit the names of those involved and pray that if they read this, they will be one of the ones who holds it close to their heart.
There was a huge wheat field for miles around with a road running down the middle of it that led past a church. The church was the only thing you could see other than the wheat fields. I was with some people. We had been driving a van down this road and stopped, pulled out our lawn chairs and waited to see some fireworks. As I looked at the sky, however, I could see that a storm was coming. I knew there were going to be tornadoes. So I ran for the church and when I got there my husband and children were already there. I looked outside and realized that it was the end of the world. These storms were going to kill people and those that I had just left at the van were still out there. I grabbed my husband and we headed for the door, but I realized that I could die and who would take care of my children? I turned around and saw a person that I know and love holding my Ethan, and I thought, "If I die, I can trust them to take care of my babies." so I took my husband's hand and we ran out into the tornadoes. They were everywhere. I knew in my heart that it was the end of the world. I could see the people that I was running to save and they were completely oblivious to the situation they were in. They took their own sweet time putting chairs away and packing coolers, etc. They were so far away from the church and Max and I were running and screaming. I was figuring out in my head how we could save them. Max would have to take care of so many, and I would have to carry one of them, but I realized that person would be too heavy for me. So I'm running and crying because they are being so ridiculously slow and oblivious to their danger and I'm realizing that I can't save them, and as I'm running they are getting further and further away, and that's how I woke up. My face was covered in tears.
This dream makes me scared for those I dreamed about, but it also makes me think about my position in the dream. I was the one trying to save people, but on any given day, I could be one of the ones that's completely oblivious. To prevent that from happening (I hope) I have decided the end of the world is coming within the next ten years (with all the crazy stuff happening around the world, I think it's entirely possible) and I'm going to do all I can to get ready for it.
Like I said, take it or leave it, just please don't tell me about it.

Back Brace Revisited

2010-12-29T22:42:00.003+08:00

Grandpa has discovered them and spent at least an hour telling Max and I about their benefits (It was not an hour in a row, it was just every time he opened his mouth tonight, it was something about those stupid things). He bought us two. His and hers and threatened us with our lives if we didn't use them...they're sleeping without them tonight. Incidently they are made in Taiwan BECAUSE NO OTHER PLACE ON EARTH WOULD THINK IT MAKES SENSE THAT PEOPLE GET COLDS THROUGH THEIR EXPOSED BELLY BUTTONS!

Happy New Year

2010-12-28T21:30:00.005+08:00

I thought I'd write some memorable things that have happened this year...with the year coming to an end and all.
1. I had a baby (that's the one that sticks out the most)
2. I got my house painted and decorated...don't get too excited about that. It's simple and therefore me.
3. I was released from my stake calling.
4. I didn't know when Thanksgiving was and ended up having it a week early. My mother-in-law even said, "Isn't it next week?" So we had thanksgiving twice.
5. Our first week in a new ward happened on the first sunday of the year.
6. We both lost some weight (that hasn't happened since we were married).
7. My husband fixed the hot water in our bathroom all by himself.
8. We went on two family trips.
9. Max went down his first water slide (he dropped into a deep pool at the end, got disoriented, almost drowned, and didn't want to go on any more.)
10. I got a sewing machine for Christmas (thanks babe!) and can't wait to start sewing my fingers together.
Happy New Year Everyone!

A back brace for babies?

2010-12-02T20:44:00.002+08:00

I went into a baby shop the other day to get some things I needed and saw on display a manican (that's probably not how you spell that) wearing pajamas and a matching back brace. I must have stared at that thing for a good ten minutes wondering why in the world a 4 or 5 year old would need a back brace. I asked Max and he had no idea, but I have figured out the mistery. My father-in-law has been scolding me a lot lately because my kids have been sick consistently every month for 8 months. "You're not making them wear enough clothes and you got to tuck in their shirts and pull up their pants like this." If you've ever been to Taiwan, you've probably noticed that many men and all children wear their pants up to their armpits. Apparently if you cover up the belly button then you won't catch cold. My boy catches cold because he has a nasty habit of lifting up his shirt and shoving his hand inside to rub his chest when he goes to sleep, leaving his belly button completely exposed. So apparently the things in the store were not back braces. Thank goodness my father-in-law doesn't know of this invention.

Congratulations!

2010-11-07T21:22:00.002+08:00

Luke and Suz have had their baby! I can't wait for pictures!

Long time coming

2010-11-06T14:54:00.004+08:00

It's been a long time. I never know what to write after such long lapses. The reason for not writing is because the number of temper tantrums my boy throws in considerably increased by the presence of a computer. I'm trying to save my sanity. Said boy is now at grandma's and my girl is strapped to my chest, finally asleep. Her top two teeth are coming in, so she didn't sleep well at all last night, i.e. I didn't sleep well at all last night.

In local news I have lost 35 pounds since I started this diet 6+ months ago. You all thought I quit didn't you? I didn't quit. I just quit writing about it. This experience has been quite...educational for me. I find that it doesn't matter how much weight I lose I'm never happy. But I am extatic when I make the monthly goal. For those of you who are unaware and may possibly care, my goal is to lose 5 lbs. a month. I don't dare to lose too much too fast because I am still breast feeding (someone kick me in the head), and I've found that doing it this way gives me the elbow room I need to plateau for two weeks or gain back the weight after I just lost it. I can jump around or stand still over and over again as long as at the end of the month I'm at that goal, and I haven't failed yet. Like now I finally broke my 2 week plateau of 1*5 and am down to 1*0. But I am fully aware that by the end of the week there will be a day when the scale reads 1*5 again and I will comfort myself by saying, "I got down once, I can do it again."and then I will get down again and then no matter what I do I will be stuck there for two weeks and get nervous about whether I will really be able to make my ultimate goal and the day after I get frustrated and finally give in to that bowl of icecream, I will lose 2 more pounds. It's been that cycle for five months now and it's always the day after a binge that I break the plateau. That makes me want to binge all the time. So that's my diet news. Just 20 more pounds to go and I'll be at the maintenece stage of my diet. I've never been at the maintenence stage of any diet before.

My boy has started to really for real potty train and its TERRIBLE! Anyone with any awesome suggestions? We are having some heavy duty resistance. I think its because after a long day of taking care of kids, I have been known to lose my cool over pee pee accidents. My boy is fully aware that mom is less wired when he's wearing a diaper. I'm making an awesome effort to keep my cool and I've introduced candy canes as the extrinsic reward. We are having some success. He does awesome in the morning, but loses it around dinner time. He absolutely refuses to poo in the potty. He'd rather hold it until night time when he finally gets to wear his diaper again. You can see the relief on his face when I bring out the diaper after bath time. I always prepare two diapers for bed time. He's such a talker. He's saying full chinese sentences and translates for me when I don't understand what he's saying. He used english to tell me dad was at work and I didn't understand "wur" so he translated it to chinese. He loves computers and thankfully he's learning make-believe because he's got a telephone that broke years ago that opens up like a laptop. I've been trying for months to get him to use that as a computer insteadof our real computer. He's finally started to catch on.

Ella (who just woke up so I gotta bring this to a close), I'm just going to say it, she's a beautiful little girl. I understand I'm biased, but I think I'm really telling the truth. She's started to cry for me when I leave her on the floor, which I do a lot because she's not developing physically as fast as I'd like to see. She cries like I think Santa would cry. It's the cutest sad face and "ho ho ho" I've ever seen. When I say she's not developing as fast as I'd like, that's just because Ethan did everthing physically so stinking fast. My girl is 7 months old this week and still can't crawl. Ethan was pulling himself up on furnature when he was four or five months and walking around. I'd be super nervous about this if it was my first baby, but I can see she is going through the developmental steps and it is slower but not slow enough to really worry about. She can sit on her own and she can pull herself up into the crawling position so the next step is to crawl. In the mean time, she is an awesome scooter and an amazing puker. If you didn't catch that, that means she pukes and then scoots right through it. I've got puke painted all over my floors. It's times like this that I'm grateful I don't have carpets, but then I'm sad because I'm mopping my floors every night instead of just vacuuming. You win some and lose some.

Typhoon

2010-09-19T22:53:00.002+08:00

We're okay. I really don't have time to write now but other than a little water seeping in our windows and a few cockroaches coming out of the woodwork (ew!), we are weathering the typhoon just fine. Just letting everyone know. I've never seen one this big. I'm really wishing our front door wasn't four panes of sliding glass door :)

Retract

2010-09-09T20:00:00.002+08:00

My husband informs me that fishballs are always made out of meat, but they do add mushrooms sometimes. So if you are vegetartian, no fishballs for you. And to be perfectly accurate, my husband does not comment on the price of my groceries every time, but they are under 10 dollars every time.

Musings

2010-09-09T15:40:00.002+08:00

Lately it has struck how not American I am anymore. I can't say that I am Taiwanese. I haven't gone that far off the deep end, and yet there are some things I do regularly that are decidedly not American. For instance, right now I am chewing on a piece of seaweed and really enjoying it. It's about three 0'clock in the afternoon so lunch has been over for a while and it's not time for dinner yet, so what sounds better for a snack than seaweed? And while we're on this food subject, everytime I cook, I can't believe what I'm doing. We don't own a microwave so I can't just buy something and heat it up there, I have to cook. I buy all fresh vegetables and meat from a bucher, which is such a joke. I have to choose my own "cuts" and I have no idea how to do that, so I tell the guy, look just give me something without bones and as little fat as possible (my husband doesn't think it's dinner without a hunk of fat somewhere. He IS Taiwanese). Then they ask me how much. I'm having a really hard time grasping the concept of 1 kilo. Sometimes I ask for a kilo and it's a ton and then I ask for half a kilo and and it's not enough. This last time I went to buy fishballs (do you see what I mean by just not American?) and asked for a kilo. Big mistake. I came home with a garbage bag full...that's an exageration, it was a big ziplock bag, still, more than I will ever need. I know what you are thinking. What is a fishball and what do you use it for? A fishball can actually be made out of any meat, even mushrooms if you are vegetarian, and 60% of the Buddhist population is. It has the consistency of a hot dog but is the size and shape of a golf ball. I put them in soup and my rice gravy. Speaking of soups. I made a soup yesterday and used tofu, dried fish flakes, mushrooms, green onion, and seaweed. Ethan loved it. He ate three bowls. And the rice gravy. Max loves the stuff and really it can be used as a flavoring for anything. I've made several pots of it but it's always pronounced too sweet or it just doesn't smell as good as mom's. Yesterday I made one that he loved. He was loving it and I was spending all my time pulling chunks of fat out of mine and throwing it into his bowl (I'm still a little American). When I come home from the market (it's an outside market where ducks and chickens with their heads still attached are hanging on hooks and you have to be careful not to walk too close to the fish stands because when they descale their fish, the scales fly everywhere, I come home with 2 large bags full of fresh vegetables and a smaller bag full of fresh meat. Max will ask me how much and I tell him (it's always less than 10 dollars American) and he always says the same thing. "Why is it so expensive?" Then I start cooking. Do you know the secret to Asian cooking (or at least my mother-in-law's cooking). Oil, garlic, ginger, salt, bulion cube ground into powder so you can use it like salt. That works for any vegetable. They don't usually use garlic and ginger together, it's choose one or the other but all the other stuff you have to use. I find myself throwing vegetables in my pan that I've never seen before and they always come out edible and sometimes my husband even says it tastes good. Every time I go to the market and I'm thinking about what I could do with this or that for dinner, it occurs to me that I would have no idea how to cook if I went to America. Wait, that's not true. I don't think I've lost my touch with a microwave just yet. I'm still decidedly American.

A few more

2010-07-26T08:31:00.005+08:00

My little Tinker Bell

We had a masquerade that I insisted that we go to. I sewed the kids costumes as you can probably tell what with Ethan's strap coming off. I'm Wendy if you haven't figured that one out. I wouldn't have done all this except for I feel sad that my kids don't get to do a real Halloween so when they said dress up, I was all over it...Ethan hated to wear his costume, and so did Max. Perhaps Halloween really is just about the candy, and maybe its just that he's too little to appreciate how much fun it is to try to be a cartoon character. We'll find out next year.

I put this book in Ethan's bed at nap time on a whim and when I went in to get him up because I thought he was sleeping too late, I found this. I thought it was so great that he was reading books that I gave it to him everytime he went to bed, which was a big mistake. The book has been torn into shreds. It's not even worth trying to tape together.

Pictures of my kids

2010-07-25T23:31:00.005+08:00

They were holding hands. Ethan likes to hold his sister's hand.

All the cousins.

This is so rare. I've got 12 pictures of her crying to every one that she's smiling...but she does have a cute cute smile when it does come out.

Ella and her cousin Candy

Ethan in one of those rare moments where his hand is not in his mouth.

Grandma's birthday...59? I can't remember.

I love her hair!

Just a few pictures to let you all know we are alive and well. Ella is a crier but she's starting to talk when she wakes up instead of immediately crying and that's super cute. Her hair is also super cute. Everyone here keeps telling me to cut it (meaning shave it off) because it's too hot, but that's just not going to happen. It's too cute. Ethan takes his job as big brother very seriously. Anytime she drools, throws up, or cries, Ethan is right there to wipe her off (or wipe it around) and he screams right along with her when she cries, "She's crying! She's crying!" that's a translation of what he really says, "Ta ku-le!" He's picking up English, Chinese, and Taiwanese so well. It doesn't seem to matter what language you use, he's on top of it. I've hit some milestones these past couple of weeks as well.

1. I've lost 15 pounds. I know what you are thinking. Didn't you lose 10 pounds forever ago? Yes, and I haven't given up. It took forever to keep those 10 pounds off and now at fifteen I'm going up and down again. But the point is, I haven't given up.

2. I got my driver's license. That's right folks. I'm the proud owner of a Taiwanese driver's license. It involved driving backwards on a curvy road where I couldn't touch the white lines (the guy giving me the test totally grabbed the wheel and was doing the test for me...but I passed). I actually had to take the written twice. That was hard on my pride. I've never flunked a test before.

3. I can't think of anymore. It's really late, so I'm going to bed.

2012

2010-06-18T21:44:00.002+08:00

Did anyone see that movie? I thought it was pretty stupid and yet I enjoyed it because it was so laid back. That's not the point. I feel like I am living that movie. The part where they are driving out of the city and everything is crashing down around them but they are staying just a half a step ahead of it... I think of that every time I finally wash all the dishes, only to find it's time for dinner. Or I give Ella a bath just in time for her projectile vomit. Or how about I'm cleaning up one room and listening to the sounds of the next mess I have to clean up in the next room that Ethan is so thoughtfully making for me. Things are crashing down and I'm just running from one disaster to the next. Oh! and the ants! Ahhhh in frustration. They are out of control. Ethan loves raisons and I think its awesome because they are a healthy snack, but if he drops one or puts down the box, within five minutes, and I am NOT exagerating, within five minutes that raisin or box is swarming with ants. I guess I could be counting my blessings that I'm not dealing with cockroaches in this house, but I am finding ants all over my children and myself all day long. I just went in to help my son clean up his toys (meaning I'm singing the clean up song while I clean up the toys) and I was finding these really small clear bead things on the floor...and then I found the package of stuff they put in new shoe boxes to soak up moisture was torn open...you know the one. It says stuff on the outside like, "CAUTION! THROW AWAY! KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN! TOXIC!" Things like that. I always wondered what was inside and now I know. Lovely.

Attack!

2010-06-12T13:40:00.003+08:00

The other day I was gathering garbage from my back porch (that's where we put it until we can throw it away so the bugs don't come inside the house), and as I was lifting up something we needed to recycle, there was a scream and something large fell down. I didn't see where it fell but I did see that I had scared the poo out of Ethan when I screamed. So I grinned at him and said, "What was that and he smiled and screamed as I scooted him inside the house so I could calm down before I went to find out what the screaming animal was (Max wasn't home). I went back out and looked behind the garbage can because I guessed that's where it fell and sure enough there was something that looked like a bat with clear wings. I screamed again, kicked the garbage can against the wall to crush it and then popped my head into the house to try and smile at my son so he wouldn't be scared. Then I pulled the garbage away from the wall and saw that whatever it was was clinging to the wall. It must have been dying because it wasn't trying to get away, but it was putting up a good fight. I used the dustpan with a very long handle and chanted ew, ew, ew while I scooped it up and then screamed as it started crawling around and then I banged it into the garbage can and shut the lid, not forgetting to then poke my head in and smile at my son, who, by the way, was not buying my dilerious smiles. He had no desire to come outside because it was scary out there. So then I'm thinking I've got it in the garbage can but now I've got to bag it, and it might have already tried to fly out so it could be on the lid and when I open it....aaaaaah! So I banged the top of the garbage can with a broom about five times and then slowly opened the lid, only to find that the bat-thing was holding onto the top of the side of the garbage can ready to jump out, so I hit it square on with the handle of the broom, all the time terified it would scream again, threw another bag of garbage on top of it and tied the top. Then I picked up the bag of garbage and looked at the animal through the bag. ENORMOUS! and crawling and biting its way up the bag. I double bagged that garbage for sure. It was an insect, but of giant tarantula size. How the heck did it fly up ten stories? We are way above the tree line here.
As a side note, we are down 10 pounds. Thanks for the encouragement.

Fruit Salad

2010-06-10T22:53:00.002+08:00

I'm on a diet right? and really whiney about it. Max said he wanted to make me something he saw on a blog, "It's a salad only it's made with fruit!" I know. That made me smile too. But this was honestly the best fruit salad I've ever had. watermelon and apple are the norm, but he added mango, this low clorie jelly thing, and passion fruit flavored yogurt...we wanted to get a picture, it was so pretty, but I ate it too fast.

Personal or Professional?

2010-06-10T05:44:00.004+08:00

Max and I went to the doctor's the other day for my 6 week checkup (two weeks late) and I was struck by the weird relationship I have with my doctor. In Taiwan, when you think you are pregnant you go to the doctor and they immediately do an ultrasound. If there's no heartbeat, they tell you to come in the next week and the next until they hear one or there just isn't one. Then you come in every month for 7 months. Then you come in every 2 weeks for a month and a half, and then you come in every week until you have the baby. During this time you are showing your doctor things you would show no one else and you are telling them things you think it is embarrassing to tell your husband. Meanwhile he says things to me like, "That must hurt, huh." or "We'll give you something to make you feel better." And it feels like he's the only one who understands and can make it feel better. On top of that, my doctor would remember things about me from month to month, "So, how was your camping trip with your church." or "Is everything all done for your move to Nanzi?"...he even remembered the city, not just that we were moving. Then when you are on the table and hyperventalating because of pain and on the verge of passing out, you're thinking, "Do I trust this man with my life?" and you do, because you have to. Then the baby's here and six weeks go. I went to see my doctor and he did a surprise papsmere (I didn't see that coming) and then said whelp, good luck Joy. And that was it. I felt like I had lost a really close friend and he was yelling, "Next!" Just weird.

Thought I quit, didn't you?

2010-06-05T22:18:00.002+08:00

No I haven't quit the diet. In fact I'm kind of proud of myself. This has been a really hard week (Thanks to Jenny for the "it doesn't come off all at once but one pound at a time. That kept me from going totally under). I was having what felt like depression and turned out to be sleep deprivation. After three days of crying over everything and being scared I was going to hurt my children because I had no patience left (Ella cried for three days) I finally got a freak 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and my world changed. I loved being mommy again. During all of this I somehow managed to remember that I was on a diet and chocolate wouldn't take my problems away. Sure, it would make them be forgotten in a few minutes of exstacy, but once the chocolate was gone I would be left with my problems again, guilt, and an uncontrollable craving for more. It was best not to even take one bight. I managed to maintain the weight that I had lost and now that I'm feeling better, we'll do more next week. Just reporting that I haven't given up.
And, my little sister Angela got married this weekend. I'd love details if anyone has them. Congratulations Angela!

Week 3 Day 1

2010-05-31T09:36:00.002+08:00

I finally feel like I've slept. I haven't slept in days, so this is awesome. Just so you know, I am still watching what I eat, which meant saying no to an icecream bar that my mother-in-law bought with me in mind. We went out to eat around Mother's Day and my mother-in-law would not let me have icecream. I was cranky about something else that day, and the fact that she thought she could dictate what I eat (it was still my "month" so she was doing it out of love) was making me cranky beyond control. I couldn't smile through the whole dinner. I was just doing my best to let them have a good time without my saying something stupid. Anyway, she could see I was really annoyed and promised me loads of icecream when the month was over. I felt like such a putz yesterday when I told her I had to say no because of a diet. She felt like she'd done something wrong again. Oh well, we'll get through this.
Yesterday it was pouring rain, Max was at work and we had to get to church. We left our front door 45 minutes early and sat down in the chapel seats with 15 minutes to spare. The drive to church took less than 10 minutes. What does this tell you? When I got there they asked me to play the piano because the regular pianist wouldn't be there. Ethan sat with me at the piano and yes, he helped me play the piano. Women were coming from all directions, trying to persuade Ethan to sit with them. There were so many and the look of emergency in their eyes was kind of scary even for me. I wasn't surprised at all that Ethan clung to me even with cake waved in his face. I would have done the same thing. They were scary.
I've just been called as the ward young womens president. The only thing that kept me going when I was stake young womens president was that all I had to do was train other women to do all this stuff. I didn't have to actually do it. Now I think I'm getting chuckled at on high. We are starting from scratch in this ward. They have no class presidencies. They've had only about three activities this year and when I asked them about personal progress I got blank stares. My first councilor is a new member and my second councilor doesn't speak chinese...let the games begin.

Week2 Day5

2010-05-28T08:45:00.002+08:00

It is amazing to me that I can spend two weeks to lose three pounds and two hours to gain it back. Something is so not fair about that...but it was so worth it. Wednesday was our three year anniversary. I'm so lame. A few months ago I completely forgot when our anniversary was. I ended up asking my mother-in-law and of course it leaked to my husband that I didn't know (I have a date/name hangup in my memory). Max thought it was funny, but it turned out that I just figured I was doing good if I remembered what day it was. Max, however, didn't think just remembering the date was good enough, so when his office gave him a free ticket to a very fancy shmancy restaurant, he quickly made reservations for our anniversary and asked them to give us a seat next to the window. This restaurant is 24 bucks per person, on the 43rd floor and looking over the harbor. I was in heaven! We took the kids to mom's and dad's (they are always so willing to take our kids. It's really nice.), and off we went for a full night of gourging. Oh, I gourged! I fasted all day the day of (if you don't count a really big carrot and oatmeal for breakfast) and the day after (if you don't count a cucumber) because the plan was to make myself sick at this restaurant. I succeeded. They had two long tables just full of deserts, and these deserts weren't your everyday deserts. They were 24 bucks a person deserts. Seriously, I went nuts. Max just reminds me when I complain about the scale (it's already looking better this morning) that it's a good thing I lost the weight before we went, because if I hadn't...

Week 2 Day 3

2010-05-26T09:18:00.002+08:00

My daughter went for seven hours without a feeding last night. We are hoping that in the next two weeks mommy can get eight non-stop hours of sleep. Wouldn't that be awesome?! This morning I woke up super stiff so I did pialates. This was the first time I'd ever done it and it was such a joke. I'm not stretchy...unless you count my tummy. I used to think that spending a work out stretching was a cop out, but I'm not thinking that so much anymore.
Yesterday I got on the scale and we are friends again...if we ever were friends.

Week 2 Day 2

2010-05-25T07:03:00.006+08:00

These are the last pictures I took yesterday so you are seeing them in reverse. This was at the beach while it was raining. I was trying to watch Ethan and give a lesson at the same time. Max said you can concentrate on your lesson. I'll watch Ethan and listen. I was looking in the Ensign and heard Max saying, "No Ethan. Come here Ethan." I decided not to look up because I'm trying to practice letting Max be dad rather than telling him the "right" way to do things...and then I got these awesome pictures because of that. He was so annoyed that we were taking pictures rather than helping him out of the muck.

It was a gorgeous day yesterday at the beach. My daughter is in that bundle somewhere.

This is a rare gem. A good picture of my boy looking at the camera and smiling without any hands on his face. I love it!Ella and Candy (Ella's cousin) just hanging out together.

Our day at the local university. This was some kind of bar code art.

Bringing home the groceries.
I know this is sideways. Just turn your head.

Do other people's kids still look like this when they are eating? I try to remind myself that he's not even two yet.

Do you ever just have one of those days where you feel like you are walking in water, because every movement is so sluggish? I was having one of those days yesterday (and trying not to have one today. I hope I can get a little bit more sleep in before my kids wake up.). I could not wake up. I had two naps and it didn't touch the exhaustion. I'm thinking it might have been because of the flooding on Sunday. On Sunday it was pouring rain and the wind was out of control. Just before we left for church, the styrofoam we use to block up where an airconditionar should be (professionals put this in for us) blew out of its hole. Max taped it up and we went to church. Of course when we got home we realized not only did it blow out again but we forgot to shut our window (it wasn't raining yet when we left. It was just blowing.). Max was already tired from running (literally) after Ethan at church so when he saw our bedroom, he kind of broke. I told him to keep Ella from crying while I cleaned up. All I could think was how grateful I am that Taiwan doesn't believe in carpet. It could have been so much worse. But after moving furniture and matresses, I was really tired. Yesterday I still hadn't recovered I guess. I tried two naps and we had family home evening on the beach (I know what you're thinking. It was awesome.), but I just couldn't really appreciate it. I'm feeling better today and didn't overeat yesterday in my depression. And I exercised today. A new start.

Week 2 Day 1

2010-05-24T09:37:00.002+08:00

Thank you to Sister Svedi for that last comment. I've been beating myself up for not exercising again this morning. This was supposed to be my new beginning (after yesterday's flooded bedroom and chocolate candy bar). I'm exhausted and whiny today and all I want to do is eat. Any suggestions out there for non-food rewards? I'm not a big shopper and feel guilty when I spend money that's not in the budget so I'm having a hard time thinking of rewards that aren't chocolate...I'm soooo tired today!

Day 9

2010-05-22T08:32:00.002+08:00

We had another calorie counting day yesterday, and I did good again. That's two days in a row. I didn't exercise again this morning and I was going to feel guilty about it, but my sister gave me some wise words and I really think that if I don't get enough sleep, I won't be able to happily play or even be with my kids, so during their nap time I pledge to find something I can do for exercise...and of course report tomorrow. Yesterday's health test had me walk up and down one step and that was harder than I want to admit...maybe I'll do that again.
Max and I had a date last night. We put the kids to bed and watched a movie...it's lame but it's been a long time since I've been able to just hang out with my husband. But it meant going to sleep after midnight (and I had to get up a couple hours later for feeding) hense the oversleeping this morning. Our annivarsary is coming up next week. Max got some discount tickets to a fancy restaurant and he's so stoked about it...I hope it's not all seafood :) Speaking of which, my little sister is getting married in a few days. So if you are reading this Angela, "All my best."

Day 8

2010-05-21T07:35:00.002+08:00

Thanks for the encouragement guys. We are going to keep going. I overslept again today, but yesterday I was so much nicer to my kids, that I'm thinking I may have to rethink my workout schedule. I did, however, do a fitness test on healthstatus.com and my overall health is "very low". And my frame size is "large". It was so much easier to pretend it was average when I didn't see that in print. Oh well, now I've got some numbers to work with. It's easier to see improvement if you are not just counting on the scale, right? Yesterday I did awesome at calorie counting and we are going to follow through today. My mother-in-law is trying to thwart me, I sware. She gave me a whole box of cupcakes yesterday after I begged her not to. The conversation went like this:
Mom: Take these home with you.
Joy: How am I supposed to diet with those in my house?
Mom: You don't have to eat them all at once. Just eat one every once in a while.
Joy: But mom, I can't just eat one. I've never ever just eaten one of something sweet.
Mom: Then what do you eat?
Joy: At least four if not six.
Mom: If you want to eat four then eat four. They'll be out of your house faster.
I told Max to take them to work with him today. I hope he did it.
Ethan is talking like crazy lately. It's really fun. Max pointed out to me that I speak to him in Chinese and then complain that he doesn't speak English. It's true. In my head I think he can't understand me, and it's very natural for me to translate things to Chinese when I don't think people can understand me. He says, "Let's eat" in Taiwanese. The first time I heard it I thought I was imagining it, but then a friend came over and heard it too. There's no pretending now.
Ella is getting bigger and bigger. We still can't decide her eye color. One eye is still more on the dark blue side and the other is more on the dark brown side. I had to write down an eyecolor for her American passport. I put gray...because we're just not sure. Doesn't gray mean you're not sure?

Day 7

2010-05-20T09:00:00.002+08:00

Karie, you are the best!
So I'm definately losing momentum here. I slept all morning, which means no exercise today unless some miracle happens. And yesterday I couldn't (meaning wouldn't) stop eating. This always happens to me about a week into any ambitious project I start, and that's why I'm doing this blog. I'm counting on all of you to give me pressure to keep going! Today's goal: Count calories.

Day 6

2010-05-19T07:23:00.003+08:00

Karie gave me an awesome idea. We don't have tortilla's around here (Taiwan has not yet discovered the beauty of Mexican food) but I do have a bread maker...that came with Chinese recipes. So is there anyone out there who could be so kind as to send me a wheat bread or any other healthy recipe for the bread maker? I guess I could look one up on the internet, but then I wouldn't know that it was a good recipe before I started. Any tried and true out there?
Meanwhile, I'm having some diet blues. Yesterday after my crappy workout, I somehow decided to take a flying leap off the wagon. I was so hungry all day long. I didn't have any prepared snacks (vegetable sticks hurt my teeth) and so I was pounding the bread and peanut butter all day. At least it wasn't chocolate, which I've realized I can't have at all, because one is never enough. I fight cravings for days after I've had a bite of chocolate. On top of that I got on the scale yesterday, and it's not budging. I'm thinking I should wait about a month before I stand on a scale, but I'm really scared that after a month I may have only lost one pound and that could just be fluctuation. You know what I mean, after a glass of water you gain it back. At least if I look at the scale one a week I won't be devastated in a month, I'll just be discouraged.
Today I think we will have a better day. I've already done Billy and I added hand weights this time. I'm trying to fool myself into thinking that the reason I'm exercising is not to lose weight, but to gain muscle so I can continue to lift, hold, and play with my kids...but that truly is just trying to fool myself. We all know it's so I can be skinny.

Day 5

2010-05-18T08:08:00.004+08:00

I hit a snag this morning during my exercise, and by snag, I mean I just didn't want to do it. I fell asleep while feeding Ella this morning, which means she didn't get her full portion before we were both asleep, she didn't get burped, and I didn't have a good sleep because my subconscious knew she was there and I was terrified I was going to roll over on top of her. Then my husband is working mornings now, so I don't have anyone to take care of Ella if she wakes up so I can go outside to exercise and have my me-time. I put on Billy Blanks and then put Ella on the bed in the same room, but it's hard to do Billy when every 30 seconds or so you have to stop to put the pacifier back in your kid's mouth. Plus Billy wanted me to do step-out squats which I'm not quite ready to do yet. I think having a baby screws with your joints. I feel like everything is ready to pop out. So I quit a pathetic 15 min into Billy and laid on the floor and started doing lazy exercises. Do sit-ups and leg lifts count as exercise if you are fighting to stay awake while you are doing them (as soon as I turned off Billy and stopped jumping around, Ella went right to sleep, so no more pacifier problems)?
Yesterday, like I said, I did great on the exercise...and I did okay on the food. I'm having issues calorie counting because the way they label the packages here, they write calories per 100 grams. How much is 100 grams?! I did manage to refuse to eat any rice, but I had a sandwich (one of those cravings that just wouldn't go away so just eat it so you don't over compensate with something else) and a roll. I also had a Taiwanese snow cone. Those things are crazy. Mine had pineapple, taro, sweet potato, red bean, and a black jelly thing...that I didn't love but the place is famous for. The put all that in a bowl, then cover it in shaved ice, and then put a black sugar syrup on it. I hated them when I was on a mission. I got to the point where I could tolerate them, but there were some missionaries who LOVED them...I just couldn't do it. Now, however, and I'm not sure why, I crave them every once in a while. My husband gets so excited when I tell him I want one because then he can get one too. I don't know why he doesn't think it's okay to tell me he wants junk food. I guess he knows he doesn't have to say it. I'm keeping us in good supply.
And for breakfast this morning? A big bowl of fresh Taiwanese pineapple. With awesome fruit like this all around me, you'd think it would be easier to say no to chocolate.
I was having deep thoughts yesterday during my "run". If you all listened to or read the Young Women's President's talk that she gave to the youth during general conference, you may remember that she talked about deep beauty. I was thinking about that because there are some women I know who have worked really hard to make there appearance up to par with today's standards, but the biggest impression they give me is that their hair is shot. The other day though I was on the internet and saw the picture on this months Ensign (I haven't received it here yet) and Sister Monson is so pretty. Those two are glowing. You look at pictures of models and they glow but you know it's because of make-up and lighting. I have some wedding pictures to prove that anyone can glow in a picture with the right setup. You'll have to go to my first or second post to see those pictures. But the pictures from general conference are all taken as is...and they are glowing and she's so pretty in her white hair and wrinkles. I really want to get me some of what she's using :)

Day 4

2010-05-17T15:41:00.002+08:00

My boy just woke up so this is going to have to be fast. I went running today! Alright, that's a joke. Old ladies were passing me up on their walks. I had to keep telling myself that they are carying about 75 lb less than me around, so if I strapped 75 lb to their backs and then started comparing my running to theirs, I'd be awesome!
Yesterday was sunday, and I kept eating Ethan's left-overs. I swore I would never be that mom, but there I was eating his peanut-butter and honey sandwich. Does everyone know how many calories are in peanut butter? It's a lot, not to mention I'm not supposed to be eating bread. Last night I made a huge dinner because we were supposed to have three guests at our house for dinner. Only one showed up and she got to hear me cuss and scream at the stove. I HATE COOKING! Why was I complaining about my mother-in-law cooking for me?
Yesterday I also drove my kids to church, in a car, by myself. I'm thinking I need to get a stamp so I can use it every time I hit a motorcyclist.

Day 3, AWESOME!

2010-05-16T14:26:00.003+08:00

So yesterday I have to admit, I did awesome! No forbidden foods, stop eating when you are full, and Billy Blanks in the morning. Awesome!! I think it helps that I have two kids. I don't have time to eat, and I know if I don't get up and do something for me in the morning, then I just won't have any me-time. No me-time means cranky mommy. Ethan's temper tantums, if I'm not mistaken, are getting steadily worse. My in-laws came to my house yesterday at the beginning of what was an off-and-on two hour tantrum. My mother-in-law told me I shouldn't let him lay on the floor like that because he'll do it in public too...How would you respond to that? Where in the world is she coming up with the idea that I think it's wonderful that he lays on the ground to kick and scream? How do you teach a 1 1/2 year old to do a standing up temper tantrum? I couldn't even look at her after she said it. Such a weird comment doesn't need acknowledment. While he's kicking and screaming because they are leaving I pick him up and put him in bed. You could tell he was exhausted so I thought I'd let him kick it out. After 20 minutes he got quiet and then 15 minutes later he was screaming again. I went in to see if we could talk after his 15 min. sleep...oh, wait. He didn't sleep. He was just working on a massive poo. I let him make dinner with me and he finally became his cute self. I kind of complained to my husband yesterday about my in-laws. My mother-in-law brings dinner over almost every night. If she's not bringing dinner, then my father-in-law comes and picks up Ethan and takes him to his house so all I have to make dinner for is myself (my husband is working). It's awesome, but the pervading feeling is that they don't trust me. I would love to have one day where I was mommy without anyone's help, just to see if I'm capable. I was complaining about this and Max said, "It's the culture. Our kids have to be in college before anyone will admit you and I are grown-ups." And its so true! I can't be mad at mom and dad because they DON'T trust us. To them we are still little and they wouldn't be doing their duty if they didn't take care of us. They are just being good parents...AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY!

Day 2

2010-05-15T08:09:00.003+08:00

This is a new record for me. Writing on my blog two days in a row. "Julie and Julia" was truly inspiring. I'm sitting here in front of my computer at 8:00 in the morning and everyone is still asleep. I couldn't pass up this opportunity. I just finished Billy Blank's Boot Camp. I didn't have any weights in my hands and I know tomorrow I'm still going to be hating life. I have learned that one month after a baby is not long enough to wate before one does jumping jacks. I can't wait for a shower. The bedroom that I'm doing this in is the only one that has a mirror right now so I got to see all the fat on my butt jiggle as I kicked and got to see how my tummy still looks pregnant even when I'm flexing the muscles. I remember when I was in high school someone told me that I would miss that body so enjoy it now, and I thought, "yeah right." and low and behold they were right. I never saw that much fat flying in high school. (sigh)
Yesterday after not exercising and eating some forbidden food during every meal, I did have one victory. I was craving chocolate so bad I'm sure I was gaining weight just through thoughtsiosporosis. I went to the store yesterday during these cravings and managed to say no to everything. The problem is we have a 7-11 in the building next to us so just saying no at one store is not enough. After my kid went to bed the cravings got really bad. Who said you are not supposed to eat after 8:00 because its just not happening. When my kid goes to bed I want me time and doesn't me time equal junk food. I sat down to a low calorie jello which did NOTHING and then had a glass of whole milk. I know what you are thinking, "Why would you have whole milk in you diet house?" Well, it's because I just can't drink milk flavored koolaid (that's what my brother in law calls it). Anyway apparently the unhealthy of the milk did it for me because I finally calmed down and went to sleep.
As for my boy Ethan, he's speaking more and more Chinese. He even copies the elevator when we get to the first floor "yi lou daole". It's cute but...what I wouldn't do for one, "doggy" or "we're here!" Oh well, I guess it's better to be able to speak chinese if you are going to be living in a Chinese speaking environment.
Ella was strapped to my chest yesterday while I cleaned the kitchen and took out the garbage. She just thinks that if she's awake, she should be held. I let her just cry all the time, but she never gets tired. That girl has willpower.

Diet, Day 1

2010-05-14T14:21:00.003+08:00

A few weeks ago Max and I watched "Julie and Julia". This movie touched my heart, mostly because Julia was so tall I think. Today I was talking to Max about our diet and this movie came up again. What if we talked about our diets on a blog I'm sure we'd have thousands of viewers, right? and even if we didn't at least we'd have people to laugh about our failures with, and boy do we have failures. Plus going on a diet in Taiwan poses some unique challenges you probably wouldn' t run into in the US. So here we go. I just had a baby a month ago and I have a lot of weight to lose. This need is compounded by the fact that I was overweight before I got pregnant. I've got two kids and I'd like to have the energy to really enjoy them. Should I write down my stats to make this real...nope, I'm not that committed.
The plan:
5:00am morning feeding
5:00 - 6:00 morning...devotional I guess you could call it
6:00 - 7:00 exercise
7:00 - 8:00 shower and get ready for the day
8:00 - 9:00 Breakfast
9:00am second morning feeding (that's right, my kid has to wait 4 hours before she gets to eat again and she is on breastmilk...oh the blog I could write about that adventure)
So that's the plan as far as when to fit in exercise. The issues I'm having are: 1. Sleep deprivation, and 2. If it doesn't get done at 6:00 in the morning, it's not getting done. My sleep galnd (that's right! I have a sleep gland) is hooked up directly to my tear ducts. If I don't get enough sleep, this gland secretes fluids right into my tear ducts. Take last night at 12:00 for an example. I was crying over my crying baby and when Max asked me what was wrong the only words I could get to come out of my quivering lips were, "I'm so tired." On the other hand, if I sleep in the morning...my quiet time is gone. The rest of the day is go go go and as an added bonus all I can think of throughout the day is that my lazy butt couldn't get out of bed AGAIN to exercise. My self esteem is therefore affected and the best way to shut up a loud negative self esteem is to feed it, which brings us to the next portion of our diet.
I am breast feeding and therefore questioned whether going on a diet at all would be a good idea. The conclusion after much research on the internet is that everyone and every doctor has different opinions. It's really frustrating. Some say controlling what you eat will affect your milk supply because you burn 500 calories just to make milk. Most say I shouldbe eating about 2500-2800 calories. I've counted the calories I usually eat and I'm in that range...but I'm overweight...dangerously. I'm not talking 15 or 20 pounds. I'm talking 50. Some say that if you are going on a diet, you shouldn't drop below 1800 calories. So if I go to 2000 calories...will that be okay? I did that for a day and it felt okay...So here's my conclusion and also my plan. I should watch what I eat in that whatever I put in my mouth should be nutritious (meaning no junk food). I also want to stop eating things like rice, noodles, and white bread. I can eat as much as I want of anything else as long as I listen to my body. If I'm hungry, eat, and when I'm not, don't. Sounds simple right? I'm so crappy at it. Last night the answer to my, "I'm so tired"-problem was not to just go to sleep. It was to start obsessing about a Snicker's bar. I kept thinking, well, more like fantasizing about this candy bar, until Max was so nice as to go out and get me one. After I ate it, I slept like a baby. So wish me luck with this stupid thing and if there are any suggestions on how to overcome my issues, I'd love hear them.
I guess I should give today's report.
This morning I didn't exercise. After crying last night because I was "so tired" I thought I'd better get sleep so I wouldn't be a mess today. I haven't put any candy into my mouth...yet but we did have french toast (white bread) for breakfast and fried rice (rice) for lunch. (sigh) Yesterday we ate at my mother in law's house for dinner. I didn't eat any rice with my dinner because the table was full of things to eat. I had fish and vegetables to my heart's content followed up with watermelon and pineapple. But my in-laws just couldn't accept that I didn't want rice. My mother-in-law kept trying to tempt me. She even left a portion of rice-juice and said that was for me. I didn't use it and I hoped that would get the point across while not looking too ungrateful (I ate everything on that table except rice, I would be flattered if someone did that at my table). Then while we were talking Ella started crying and mom went on got a tea off of her cupboard for me. She said, "I don't think you have enough milk. Dring this. It will help." The name of the tea in big English letters is NURSING TEA. The box has a woman with her boob sticking out...well, not out. It's in a baby's mouth, like that makes it alright. Let me go get the bottle so I can tell you the secret milk producing formula:
Dextrose, maltodextrin, balm extract, stinging nettle extract (I'll bet you'll never look at that stuff the same way again), caraway extract, anise extract, fennel extract, goat's rue extract (what is goat's rue?!...don't panic. I just looked it up and it's an herb. I was kind of panicking because here in Taiwan people believe that eating pig skin will improve your skin and eating fish eyes will improve your eyesight and so I was scared that if you want increase your milk supply maybe you had to eat goat...rue.).

Introducing...

2010-05-04T14:58:00.009+08:00

Introducing...ELLA DIANE CHEN

She was 3.416 kg and 51 cm. You all are going to have to do the math yourself. After three weeks of false contractions, three days of inducement, two days of steady contractions, an epidural that was clogged, kinked, or something, two days of only being open 1 cm and 2 hours of being open to an 8....she came on April 9, 2010.
It's so nice to have her here. I love that she's not in my tummy anymore. I can eat again! and I've got the extra ten pounds to prove it.
So here's the happy family:
I was so blessed to be able to have my sisters come to Taiwan and take care of me for the little while after Ella was born. For those of you who are at all familiar with "the month", you will understand what a real blessing they were. For those of you who aren't familiar (I'm guessing that's most of you) just realize that because they were here I could hold my son on my lap, wash my hair, and eat ice cream whenever I wanted to. They did not, however, save me from endless pots of steaming hot (in 80 degree weather) chicken, fish, and pig leg soup brewed with over ten different kinds of Chinese medicine. I can't remember exactly but I think Ruth described it as smelling like foot.
My sisters got to do some awesome things while they were here like go to the dragon/tiger towers where they left all their bad luck behind. They also went to monkey mountain and my favorite place ever Qijing which is the little island just off the Kaohsiung harbor. I, however, am lame so I didn't get any of those pictures. But here's a picture of them in the park next to our house:
And some more of them in my house:
This is my sister Martha
and the close up:

This is my sister Ruthann:
And the close-up:
Way to "take care of" my kid Ruthann!
And all of us together:
Minus my husband who was taking the picture.
And here's one of us in the common area of my apartment building:
These pictures are kind of lame because they are for me. If you want to see adventure pictures, you'll have to see Martha.
Here's just a couple more pictures that I love for good measure.
My boy eating mashed potatoes. Heaven forbid he use an actual eating utensil.
And a picture of my husband being the awsome dad and husband that he is.
Note: I think the true mark of a good dad and excellent husband is a willingness to carry the pink diaper bag adorned with cake-headed people.

Still pregnant

2010-04-02T22:13:00.002+08:00

I can't sleep so here I am. We went to the doctors today to check on Ella's progress. I don't know if I wrote about it earlier but about two weeks ago, our whole family came down with the stomach flu. I was throwing up and having contractions. We went to the doctors and they pumped me full of fluids and said, if the baby decides to come tonight, she's big enough so we'll just let it happen. I was thinking, "I'm so glad that decision was so easy for you, because you are NOT GOING TO BE THE ONE THROWING UP AND POOPING A BABY AT THE SAME TIME!" Anyway, Max gave me a blessing and we got though it, but at the time they said the baby was about 2.9 kilos (I think that's what they measure it in:) and today when they measured the baby again she was still 2.9 kilos. The doctor checked the water around the baby and he said it's a little less than it should be, so then I went for another test to check the baby's movement and heartbeat, and she slept through the whole thing. He ended up sending me home and said, "Just be alert, if that baby doesn't move for more than two hours, come right in...and if she doesn't come as fast as you want her to, just come in and we'll induce you." What is that? He was so cavalier about it. "Whatever you want...if your sick of that baby being in you, we'll take her out for you...you know...whatever." I can't help but think, "Can you do that?" I'm pretty sick of having a baby in me, but having her out of me scares me so much more, that I think we are going to wait and see. Ethan's started throwing full fledged kicking and screaming temper tantrums this past week as well, which makes me even more apprehensive about bringing another baby into our home. Every time he cries like that, I cry with him. I totally know what the problem is most of the time, I just can't stay on top of things so we can head off these temper tantrums before they start. I'm getting tired.
Max has been a trooper. I cry at the drop of a hat...or noodles as the case may be, and he takes it all in stride. He's been cooking all the meals, giving the baths, taking out the garbage, washing the dishes, etc. Ethan doesn't even come to me anymore to play because he knows daddy is more fun. It sure does make it hard when daddy has to go to work. I really don't know what to do about that temper tanrum, especially since I'm throwing a temper tantrum right along with him. I hate it when he has to go to work.
Alright, the moral to this story is that I'm still very pregnant and there are still no pictures. I've decided I'm going to quit promising pictures, because it's rare that I ever take them, and it's even more rare that I have time or patience to wait for this "awesome" internet to upload them all, so you get them when you get them.

Earthquake!

2010-03-04T12:06:00.004+08:00

It looks like I've already titled a blog with this title, but we had another one this morning. Around 8:00 this morning I woke up to a horrible sound in our house and then realized that I was bumping up and down. I screamed at Max to get up and I ran for Ethan, terrified that his door would be jammed shut. I pulled him out of bed and Max ran to open the front door so it wouldn't jam. I grabbed the 72 hour kits, threw Ethan to Max and we ran upstairs to the roof. Living on the 10th floor of a 10 story building has it's good points and bad ones. If the building collapses, we'd be the easiest for rescuers to find...but we have no way of getting out of the building if it was going to collapse, so our plan is just to run up so nothing can fall on us. I don't know how good of a plan that is but it's the best we can think of. It was a 4. some odd earthquake here in Nanzi. On the 10th floor it felt bigger. After everything that's happened in Chile and Haiti, I've been really paranoid about an earthquake lately and so when it happened today, I couldn't stop thinking about how sad I would be if I lost my boys, which meant a lot of pregnant crying. Max took me and Ethan to the park and we let Ethan play in the fountains which helped me a lot and then I came home and saw this article. I'm all better now, but I think I'm going to be updating our 72 hour kits tonight.
http://www.ldsmag.com/churchupdate/100303chile.html

Eight Months

2010-02-28T23:34:00.002+08:00

I am now eight months pregnant and I kind of feel bad for this little girl. The strongest feeling I've had for her is that I want her out. She has no clothes, no place to put her clothes if she had them, we have a bed, but I haven't even tried to put it together yet, no diapers...the list goes on and on. I'm not worried about it. We'll have it together in time, but I just remember for Ethan I was so worried about getting everything ready, and this poor little girl would be forgotten if she wasn't kicking my bladder all the time.
Her name is going to be Ella Diane Chen. She's due on April 8th. I'm better at handling Taiwanese attitudes toward pregnant women. Today at stake conference I had an old lady yell at me because I was holding Ethan, "Why are you holding him?!" "He's restless." "Why won't he let you sit down!?" Then I in my wisdom said to her with the same attitude she was using toward me, "Why aren't you sitting down?!" We'll see if she's still active next week.
Today our stake was split into two stakes. The entire conference was all the old leaders, new leaders, and their wives sharing their testimonies. I can't say I was really listening well, but I was impressed by the attitudes of these leaders. Some of them had been beshops for more than 15 years. They've never set with their wife and kids at church. I've been so cranky about my calling and all I could hear in my haed today was that I need to repent...that's not a bad feeling.
Ethan was having and hard time sitting still, but the family sitting in front of us let him sit with their two little boys. They have a boy that's not three yet. Ethan is just learning how to talk a little bit, but he jabbers on and on. He tells jokes and laughs at them and he'll say things that are totally intelligable, wait for your response and then reiterate what he's already jabbered. I watched these two little boys talk all the way through the meeting. The other little boy was trying so hard to understand what Ethan was saying. They talked non-stop and all in whispers. So to tell the truth, I was listening more to them than I was to the meeting.
Can I just say here on the internet for all my friends and weirdos alike to hear...read? I'm so impressed lately with how amazingly true the church is. We are running into so many problems around here and the conclusion that Max and I always come to is that if we do things the way the church outlines, it'll work out. We've been working with a lot of other people...a lot, I can't figure out why everyone is suddenly coming to us for help on their problems, but it's always the same. The church teaches this, you've been doing this, that's why you have this problem. You take responsiblity for your bad choices now, but if you make good choices now, you take responsibility for those choices later. It's the same every time. I don't know how people without the church survive. Alright, I'm off my soap box.
As a side note, just to show what is so typically Joy, I had a dream last night that I was trying to get my husband to give me a goodbye kiss before he went to work and he wouldn't do it. I followed him to the car repare shop, the store, and the hospital for a simple kiss, and woke up without one. Then today he had to leave for work from stake conference so I didn't get my goodbye kiss...
Before I sign off I want all the bloggers that I'm stalking to know that I read your blogs all the time and am a big jerk for not leaving comments. I don't leave comments for the same reason I don't update my blog.......Anyway, just as a call out, Kristen, you make me laugh. Holly, you give me hope. Shera, you make me think...even about doing a garden. Marcia, I love your kids' pictures and especially your little girl's hair. Jax I love your "long winded"stories. Kim I'm waiting to see a picture of your own little one. And Suz, I can't believe how darn cute my nephew is. I know that doesn't make up for all the comments I should be leaving and someone is left out and offended (because my comments are definately that important to them) but I just want you all to know I'm watching you.

2010-02-11T09:03:00.002+08:00

Ethan has really started to throw temper tantrums lately. I have to laugh at myself because I'm such a mom. I go to the store and I hear other kids throwing tantrums and I think, "What is going on with that kid?" and the next second my kid is doing the same thing, and I find that I'm smiling and thinking, "Your so funny Ethan." I never give in to the tantrums, it's just to me, my boy never stops being cute. Last week we had a very uncomfortable and direct class (I'm not very happy with how the teacher handled this lesson, but nobody is perfect) about how to teach reverence to your toddlers. I think the thing that surprised me the most was that not everyone thought my kid's screaming and running as you got up to pry his hands away from the piano was as cute as I thought it was.
Yesterday we were at grandma's and grandpa's house and I told Max to go out and get some things and I'd stay home with Ethan. Ethan saw dad leave without him and threw the keys he had in his hands on the ground in his tantrum. I ignored it, but Grandma, being the good grandma she is said, "Come on, I'll take you outside." Ethan sniffed up his tears and went to the door, then stopped, turned around and started looking for something. "What's he looking for?" I couldn't help laughing. My boy is so OCD. "He's looking for his keys."
The other day I was mopping our tile floors (in Taiwan, everything is tile). Ethan was on our rug and decided he needed to change the TV channel. On his way to the TV he slipped on the tile and smacked the back of his head on the ground. It looked like it really hurt and I was a little worried he wouldn't get up. I said, "Come here Ethan." I make him come to me when he's hurt so I can see how bad it is. If he can't come to me, then something is really wrong. He crawled over to me, too scared to stand up. Then I picked him up but he just wouldn't relax and let me comfort him. He was screaming in pain and wanting to get down. I put him down and he crawled and cried all the way over to the TV, continued to cry as he changed the channel, and then cried as he crawled back to me. Only when the channel was changed was he content to let me hold him. He didn't leave our rug for the rest of the day. And now any time there's a little bit of water on the floor, even if someone just spilled their water, he drops to the crawling position.

Fun with cabbage

2010-02-09T22:24:00.002+08:00

We have been eating so much cabbage lately. For those of you who don't know, there are some actually really good ways to cook and eat cabbage...I only know how to cook one of those ways. This reminds me. Max and I have been given a lot of coca cola lately (you know, singles family home evening = left over coke). A really good recipe for chicken is to throw chicken into coke and just let it boil until its cooked through. The longer you boil it, the better and more tender it tastes. We throw cabbage in there too, I don't love it but Max does. Onion tastes good in there... Anyway, back to cabbage. We were finally getting to the end of our cabbage today and I went to the store and they were selling cabbage for 10 quai. That's about 25 cents. I don't love cabbage, but I couldn't pass it up. I thought Max would be so proud of me...and then I bought chicken at another store and they gave me a free head of cabbage. I'm kicking myself. They are monster cabbages.
I went to a member's house to visit today and she said once a missionary that was going home brought his family to eat at their house. They were eating dumplings and the dad asked, "What's in this?" "Garbage" replied my friend. "What?!" then the missionary spoke up, "She means cabbage."
My husband told me a funny joke the other day too. A man came home from drinking with his buddies, threw up on the floor and immediately passed out. The next morning he woke up in his bed wearing clean pajamas. The house was clean and breakfast was on the table. There was a note with the breakfast that said, "Here's your breakfast. I went to the store to get the things I need for your favorite dinner. You get plenty of rest today." The husband couldn't figure out what was going on. He didn't remember much about the night before, but he could remember that he'd been drinking and his wife should be punishing him right now, not rewarding him. He went to his son's room and asked his son, "What happened last night?" The son replied, "You came home drunk and threw up all over the house." "Yes, I remember that. And then?" "And then when you passed out on the floor mom went over and picked you up but you pushed her away." The husband's eyes got round with horror, "and then?" "And then you screamed at her, 'Don't touch me! I'm already married!'"
As for Joy, I'm doing better and better. We finally finished Young Women's camp on Saturday. Every year I don't even care if the girls have a good time. I just want it done. Seven months pregnant and running girl's camp is not my idea of a good time. I was very greatful to Max and my in-laws who took care of Ethan for a few days. I thought when I got back he'd be really clingy, but he was only clingy for one day. After he got a good night's sleep, he was fine. There's a strong rumor going around...started by the stake president himself that the stake is going to split this month. What does that mean for me? I'm going to be released!!! Yeah! This has been such a roller coaster calling. I've never learned so much and cried so much over a calling. I say that now... wait till I get called to Relief Society. I'll be begging to be called as Stake Young Womens President again.
I'm trying to think of something really clever to say, but really this blog is just to check in and say, I'm still alive. Hope all is well with the rest of you. It's my bedtime now.

I said I'd let you know

2010-01-24T14:42:00.004+08:00

Just few more words:
1. He shakes his head back and forth and sings "byao-byao-byao-byao" which means, "Idon't want to- I don't want to - I don't want to- I don't want to"...Do you see why he prefers Chinese to English?
2. He pats his chest and says, "pa-pa" which means, "That scared me"
3. He touches all his food and bath water and says "ta-ta" which should be "tang-tang" which means, "that's hot"
Like I said, this is for posterity, so not that interesting to you all probably, but my kid's going to love to read this when he's older.

Where's my camera? It's not important.

2010-01-22T15:37:00.002+08:00

For those of you who don't know, we have moved. We moved on Christmas day. I was really bummed about not having a Christmas tree on Christmas day, and I couldn't bring myself to put up Christmas tree on the 26th...because that's not Christmas. I did put the tree up right after Thanksgiving though this year, so I wasn't completely Christmas tree-less. I couldn't believe the conversation we had with Max's parents on Christmas Eve, "Why don't you move tomorrow? Have you got anything going on tomorrow?" Max looks at me with a real question in his eyes, "Do we have anything going on tomorrow?" and I say very quietly, "It's Christmas...I guess we can do it tomorrow..." Really because of time constraints I didn't have a choice, but it just was so weird to me that I was the only one in the room who felt like Christmas was a good enough reason to wait a day. That night when we were reading scriptures, I insisted we read Luke 2 and Max looked at me and said, "Why?" I had to explain to him. It was, on the whole, a very frustrating Christmas, but I got the best Christmas present ever. I love my house. and I'd love to show you pictures, but as you can see from my title...we just don't take care of our camera.
I kind of need to go to sleep for a minute so I'll just write a few cute things Ethan is doing, so I have a record of it when he's older.
1. He's starting to talk...Chinese. His English is terrible. The only things he says in English are, "go go go" (not to be confused with two go's which is doggy in Chinese) and Gampa, which his grandpa is trying to get him to change to the Chinese version. I keep telling him to let him use the English because it's the only English he'll say...oh, and he says banana but it comes out "bya". Figure that one out.
2. We decided to let Ethan decide the name of our baby, because calling her Cynthia Ella would be cruel. His "Ella" is so darn cute we are going with Ella as her name. (Besides, my inlaw's can't pronounce Cynthia...come to think of it, they can't pronounce Ethan either. It comes out Esan). No worries Cindy, we will have another girl for you.
3. Ethan's words are as follows:
"gou gou" :dog
"xi zao" :shower
"yi er dan" : 1, 2, 3 (the three should be san but he's having a hard time with those s's)
...I can't think of any more, so I'll let you know as I notice them.
4. Ethan loves to drive the car...oh yeah, we got a new car these past couple of days too. I say a new car, but it's over 10 years old and the owners were just going to throw it away but they thought of us. We didn't pay for the car, but we paid about 1,000 dollars American for repairs, insurance, and taxes. It's a car, and Ethan has to sit in the drivers seat while we are getting everything else situated.
5. Ethan doesn't chew his food. He has all the teeth he's going to need for the next couple of years, and they are going to stay nice because he just doesn't use them. He shovels food into his mouth until he can't shut his mouth and then kind of waits for it to melt. He's choked many times on apples.
I'm going to let that be it now, because I've got a headache, but I thought I had better check in.

2009-12-16T22:18:00.003+08:00

All right friends. I am back...I think. It might be another long time before I write again so we'll try to hit everything so you all don't feel too bad (I know ya'all can't sleep at night because I haven't been updating my blog).

1. Thanksgiving: It wasn't that great actually. My husband had to work and as I was making 7 layer dip for the Thanksgiving activity at the church (of all the random things to eat for Thanksgiving, I know. And I was watching people eat and couldn't help but laugh. The chips were being eaten by the kids and the adults were eating the dip like it was salad...Apparently the chips would make them fat. I was too scared to tell them that the dip would probably make them fatter than the chips would.) Anyway, during dinner the neighbor started screaming at his wife and kid. I've called the police for him hitting his wife before (actually several times) and this time I was really scared he'd start in on his little girl...Useless! I want to go over and beat the wife myself. How can people help you if you don't say, "Yes, there's a problem." Anyway, before the activity was over I had to go to a stake meeting and somewhere in the process lost my cake pan. Not the best day, but I've had worse.

2. Primary sacrament meeting: That was awesome. It really wasn't anything special if you compare it to other wards, but this is the first time I've been in the presidency/music director. I got to sit on the front row and tell them when to stand up and sing. I got to see all their faces and it was so funny and sweet. That was a good day.

3. Christmas program: Our ward is in charge of 15 minutes for our chapel christmas program. The bishop wanted me to be the coordinator but my husband said I was too busy, but then the bishop called me to see if I'd be willing to play the clarinet for part of it. I asked him why he was calling everyone and he said because no one wanted to be coordinator so I became co-coordinator. I felt bad for the guy. I'm going to be playing the clarinet and it's hilarious. Let's just say it's obvious I haven't played since my first year of college...8 years ago. Has it been that long. I remember where to put all my fingers but my face gets so red from blowing into the stupid thing that I look like I'm going to explode...Oh well, it's the thought that counts. Nothing like watching a pregnant lady explode...or at least pass out.

4. New Years Party: Three weeks left before the New Year is here and we get a letter from the Church general presidency saying, "You will have a New Year's party for the youth in your stake or else!" Okay, that's not a direct quote because I never saw the letter, but that's the message I've been receiving. 3 weeks to put together a 5 hour activity that has now turned into an overnight activity. You know, the kids around here can't drive and they usually stay home for New Years so if the parents have to go pick them up in the middle of the night, then who's going to want to let their kids come. Yeah for the leaders who get to stay over night with them! I have a new motto, "Joy, you don't have to take you kids from Missouri to Utah in a push cart so quit whining!"...it's not working though. I'm still pretty whiny.

5. Moving: Oh yes. There's that little hick up. We'd like to be out of this house before the end of the month so I've been packing and Max has been painting and I've been lifting heavy heavy things and telling myself, "When I have this baby it's going to be one push and she's going to come out so fast the doctor is going to have to jump out of the way. " That's what happens when you exercise right? Yesterday I spent the entire day cleaning cockroach poo out from under our kitchen sink. That's right, they poo.

6. Young Women's Camp: That's right around the corner too, but this year has gone better than ever. It will be in the beginning of February and we finally have chinese manuals and everyone has been to camp at least once (meaning those people who are in my presidency) so it feels too easy this year...like I'm forgetting something.

7. I'm an aunt: I know. I've been an aunt for quite a while now but my brother-in-law just had his baby on Sunday night...Monday morning. These crazy Taiwanese girls don't believe in epidurals. She told me she wasn't going to use one because her sister told her not to and I told her, "Of course that's up to you, but I wasn't sorry one bit I got one. I totally recommend it." She didn't get one and then after hurting for hours and opening to 6 cm. they did a c-section. What a waste. They seemed to think that when it came time to push she'd be too tired and the baby would get stuck. Anyway, beautiful baby but we can't hold her because h1n1 is really bad around here so they are being really careful and since it's a c-section she doesn't bring the baby home until saturday. I can't wait.

8. Baby: Yes I'm pregnant. I think I'm 22 weeks pregnant (yeah, finally past the half-way mark) My tummy is pretty cute if I do say so myself. We are sure it is a girl and she is due April 8. We are toying with two names Ella or Cynthia. I like them both but just think they don't sound good together. I'd like to make Cynthia the first name (just for the record we were thinking of you when we started toying with this name Mrs. Cynthia Brewer) if I do use it and make Ella the middle name but would Cindy Ella be too cheesy? Plus we thought of the name Ella before we thought of Cynthia and I can't stop calling her Ella...so we still don't know what her name is. I'm doing great. Except for heartburn and a few kicks now and then, I keep forgetting I'm pregnant. This one has been so much easier on me than Ethan was. I hope she is this easy when she comes out.

9. Ethan: Ethan has been walking for a long time. He waves and kisses goodbye. He doesn't say much but we are starting to hear him say some things that seem to have meaning. His mama and baba are still said in the most random ways that we don't think he knows what they mean, but today I said "one, two, three" in chinese and he mimicked me right on. He also said "mine" in chinese when I told him something wasn't his. He says "Emma" after prayer and he said "nanna" after I said banana like 600 times, but everything is so random and he only ever says it once that we can't say he's talking yet. My husband just reminded me that he said santa and and he "bu yao" or "I don't want it" a lot. But I still don't think he knows what he's saying. I do believe that his Chinese is going to be a lot better than his English. I've enclosed some pictures of him in his japanese robe that we make him wear to bed because he won't use a blanket, and his using his chopsticks...well stabbing his rice with his chopsticks. On a side note, we've been trying to save money so I have been really good about cooking lately...and my son has stopped eating. What is that all about? And a picture of the gecco that kept scaring the poo out of me yesterday when I was cleaning up cockroach poo. Good times.

10. My husband: My husband and I had a conversation that went like this:

Max: I should start a blog.

Joy: You can just write your stuff on my blog. There are a lot of people in the states who read my blog and would like to practice their chinese and I already have a lot of your friends here reading my blog to practice their English.

Max: But putting Chinese on an English blog...that's kind of cheesy.

Joy: No it's not babe. It's fine.

Max: Actually I don't know what cheesy means but I think it means weird and in this situation I think you would use it...

The next day.

Joy: This is the funniest movie. They are soap opera stars but then their lives turn out to be real soap operas. Like that guy, in a minute here he's going to find out this girl he is dating that is the niece of his old flame which he's only dating to make his old flame really jealous, is actually his old flame's daughter and HE'S the FATHER (the movie is called SOAP DISH and I laugh so hard every time it's on HBO).

Max: He's dating his daughter? That's bizarre.

Joy: I know! It's so wrong and so funny.

Max: Actually I don't know what bizarre mean but I think it means weird and in this situation I think you would use it...not cheesy.

Happy Halloween!

2009-11-04T10:35:00.004+08:00

In true fashion it's late, but at least I'm doing it. For this Halloween I got the best present ever, I felt like a person again! woohoo! I've been feeling like poo for the last 4 months. Yeah for being pregnant. That means four months of not cooking, or cleaning, and four months of sleeping. Ethan has grown up a lot in these months because he's pretty much had to take care himself. I tried to do some decorations for Halloween. That was a joke. I taped ghosts and bats to the ceiling, elementary school style...they all fell down. The bat was trully terrifying though. There were many times in the middle of the night I'd come out to use the bathroom and for a split second think there was a killer cockroach in our house. For Halloween day I spent the entire day cleaning. It was awesome. By the end I still had the bathroom to clean (mold was growing) and Max said, "Why don't you leave it. Then we have something that still feels like Halloween." I cleaned it. Then that night we had a ward party...no it was not a Halloween party. It was just a dinner. I made my kid where fairy wings and I wore a witch hat. Everyone was so impressed. You gotta love Taiwan. I made a chocolate cake (it was black, so that's Halloween right?), deviled eggs (you know, devil?) and I made Max put a bunch of toilet paper on the top of suckers and tie them down with dental floss to make ghost suckers. I had to laugh because everyone was just so impressed. I was feeling kind of sad that I wasn't having a traditional Halloween, but seeing as how I'd never be able to make the awesome Halloween I want, it's nice to think that people are so impressed with these little efforts...only in Taiwan. Ethan and I went to the grocery store to get suckers for this special occasion and she was given a free sucker. That was so great!...I'm being sarcastic. He was wearing a brand new white shirt that I love. What do you do?

After Halloween was over, my husband and I sat down to pop, popcorn, and tofu (I don't get it either, but my husband loves it) and watched Arsenic and Old Lace. We didn't get very far before I fell asleep.

Short Update

2009-10-10T22:58:00.002+08:00

Haven't thrown up in a while (that's nice) but nausea is still my best friend and companion. The lady cutting my hair said to me, "You get white hair too huh?" What can you say? Ethan is now officially a walker...footage to come (I keep saying that, don't I?). And as for Chinese culture of late, everyone said Ethan would walk before he was 1 but now that he's 1month over 1 they are saying he will have a luckier life. Apparently later walkers only have to face problems that they give themselves because life won't throw obstacles in their way. I happen to believe that it's still too early for him to be walking. I don't want to have to start really running after him. And on another note my mother-in-law very seriously warned me not to tickle Ethan's feet because he would be afraid to cross bridges later in life if I did that to him...I know you want me to explain where this tradition came from, but I just have no idea. It's just so random. My best guess is that "bridge" and "feet" rhyme in chinese so maybe somebody back in sometime BC (because the older the tradition, the more correct it is I hope you know) made up a cute saying about tickled feet and scary bridges, and now it's turned into another way to give these poor Taiwanese mothers stress about their children's wellfare...But that's just a guess.

Stupid plant! Just Grow!

2009-10-03T22:22:00.002+08:00

My husband said something to me that made me want to punch him in the nose, but instead I laughed until I cried. You remember that poor plant the member gave to me that I blogged a little about last time. My husband is sure I killed it by watering it too much (he's sure it's too much water, mother-in-law is sure it's too hot, and I'm convinced it's the worms). Anyway, I was going to bed and my husband kissed me goodnight (he still had to feed his stupid fish on facebook before he could go to bed. I am so jealous of those fish sometimes. Does anyone know how to kill them?) and I said, "Whoa! You are growing a tree on your chin. You need to shave that," and he said to me without skipping a beat, "Throw some water on it. That way it won't grow back." I wanted to hate him, but that was just so funny. I'm still laughing 3 days later.

Long Week

2009-09-29T22:54:00.005+08:00

For those of you who may not know, my boy's birthday was on the 21st of September. I wanted to do something special for him. We ended up buying a birthday present of a hammer and nail set (for babies. You hit one nail and another pops up) and his grandma bought him two monster cars which he was afraid of at first (he's so weird like that. The wheels flashed red and blue lights and he hated that. Now that the batteries are dead, he totally loves them). But we bought those a few days before his birthday because grandpa's family (meaning Max's dad) decided that it was time to let Great Grandma go...and they chose the 21st to do it. It's kind of sad because now every time we celebrate Ethan's birthday, we are all going to be a little sad for the memory of grandma.

A few highlights from the funeral (can you call them that?). Grandma was a Christian so we didn't do the whole Budhist thing (which is crazy. I went to one a long time ago and jumped over fires and followed stilt walking gods as they walked down the street...we did all sorts of crazy stuff. I'll have to save that for another time) but there was still some weird stuff. The day grandma passed away, I went to the house she was at to say goodbye and mom (Max's mom) did not want me to go anywhere near the body. Max pulled me in. I looked for a second and then Mom pulled me right back out. Apparently there are ghosts or something hanging around bodies that upset unborn babies...or something. Then the preacher came over to say a prayer and they were going to put her body in a casket. Mom sent me away for this with my sister-in-law (also pregnant) and Ethan. The next get together was a few days later when we took grandma to be cremated. We had to separate men family and women family (I was on the men's side because I'm married to one of the men in the family) and then they took the body out between us. We wore sashes on our sleeves for this to show we were grieving. Ethan got a little black one and Max got a flesh colored one with a yellow patch to show was the first grandson. I had one with a smaller yellow patch to show I was his wife. Then they wrapped a piece of red yarn around my belly (red scares the ghosts away?). We said a prayer for grandma and then got in a bus behind the hearse to go to the cremation place. There we had more prayers and sang "God be with you till we meet again". There was a Buddhist funeral going on right next to us and they were banging their gongs and chanting...it kind of felt like a competition. The Preacher had a microphone and he was doing his darndest to outdo those gongs. On Sunday we finally finished everything up. We went to their church to have the honest to goodness funeral...and all I can say is...it was pretty painful. I didn't feel like any of the speakers knew grandma at all. They just kept talking about how you had to believe in Christ or you would be lost after you were dead. It was proselyting...none of it was about grandma. I was angry by the end. What a waste of time! After the service Max's aunts were telling their more vulnerable relatives that if they didn't get baptized, they'd never see grandma again. I appreciate the fact that they actually believe that...but I just feel like grandma was short changed and those of us who weren't members of their church just felt really uncomfortable. You couldn't take time to think about grandma and appreciate her at all. Oh my goodness, I almost forgot, right in the middle of it this guy wearing a political jacket came up and shook dad's hand. Dad's crying for his mom and this guy wants votes. What is that?! Afterwards we went to the gravesite (I forgot to mention that I was wearing my patch and yarn again for these proceedings) to bury grandma. Mom wouldn't let me stand next to the grave and when the put her in the ground, she kept shewing me, telling me to get me and my unborn baby as far away as possible and for heaven's sakes, don't look. I looked anyway. I wanted to say goodbye too.

Today we finally got to celebrate Ethan's birthday. He voted for what he wanted to be when he grew up. Apparently he wants to be a musician. (This is a chinesee thing where you put things on the ground to represent a bunch of different professions and whatever he crawls to and touches is what he will be when he grows up.) We had cake and he was scared of his candle. We have pictures of all these things but had to take them with grandma's camera because ours is having serious technical difficulties. I'll put up the pictures as soon as grandma is willing to let us take her camera home.

In other news, Max and I have bought a house. It is in Nanzi next to a beautiful park. I say house but it is an apartment. It is on the top floor which means it's going to be hot but he and I have great plans to build a garden on our roof (yeah right! A member gave me a beautiful plant about a month ago and when she came here yesterday for an activity her eyes filled with horror when she say the plant and said, "What happened?!" I didn't know what to say. I've really worked hard to keep that stupid thing alive and it just wouldn't do it... she took it home to nurse it back to health). We haven't seen the inside of the apartment yet because it was bought at an auction and there are still people living there. We will probably be able to move in in December or January. I'm dreaming of paint lately...literally.

In baby news, we took 4D pictures of our babies and I'm no doctor, but either our child has a penus or a tail. I'm not willing to rule out tail yet because 1. I've been dreaming about a baby girl...meaning while I'm asleep I dream about girls and not that I'm hoping to have a girl, and 2. While our church insists that our ancestors were not monkeys, I'm not willing to discount all of Darwinism. Just because our ancestors aren't monkeys doesn't mean God doesn't have similar ways of making his creations...maybe it is a tail and it'll go away as my baby gets bigger... I hope.

Okay that's all for now. Next time it will be all pictures. I'm not going to right anything. But in the meantime, here is my favorite pictures of Grandma that's already saved in my computer so I don't have to go find the camera and chords.

(Please don't pay attention to my appearance. It was Halloween, and I was a witch.

Where's my banana?

2009-09-16T22:02:00.003+08:00

This morning I was feeding Ethan a banana. He'd already had his bottle, this was just kind of a, let's-make-sure-you-are-really-full-before-I-put-you-down-for-bed banana. I'd give him a bite and then I'd take a bite. But then I accidentally gagged on one of the bites (the texture got to me) and ran to the bathroom to puke up my breakfast. When I got back the peel was on the coffee table but I could not find the banana. There was over half a banana there when I left. I looked under the couch and coffee table. I looked between the couch cushions. I looked everywhere. Ethan didn't look like he was chewing on anything, and while his hands and face were dirty, they weren't especially dirty. I'm really hoping that banana is in his tummy because I can't find it anywhere.

5L

2009-09-07T21:32:00.002+08:00

Last Monday my husband and I held family home evening. We're working on making this a regular thing. Wish us luck. Anyway, I had the lesson, my husband had the activity and Ethan was in charge of the treat. Because of my last earthquake experience, I asked my husband if, for our activity, we could practice an earthquake drill. So in the middle of my lesson, my husband made me pee my pants (which is stupid because it was my idea) by screaming, "Earthquake?" I jumped off the bed before I realized we were just practicing and I said, "I got the 72 hour kits and you get Ethan," but my husband was already gone. Ethan was next to my leg and my husband was gone. When he came back I said, "Where'd you go?" and he said that the door had to be opened. Great! the door's open, but my son is dead. Please note that I'm in charge of the bags because they are placed on top of our closets...which means my husband can't reach :). So we tried again and I told my husband not to forget Ethan's bag and he ran in to get it and came out with the wrong bag. Looks like our poor boy is going to get the short end of our emergency stick...but at least mom and dad will be high and dry. Needless to say, we're going to be making some adjustments to the placement of our 72 hour kits and we'll try again...probably in another six months, because who really takes the time to practice?

The real reason I'm writing today is because I had a really depressing experience at the local "walmart". No we don't have Walmart here...but it's the closest thing we have to it. I was looking at the boy shorts because I wanted shorts that were long (and big enough for my behind) and I was laughing because there was a 5L size. I was like, "Max, what is 5L?" and he said, "There's L, XL, 3L, 4L, and 5L." I grabbed the XL size and the 5L just for laughs and went to the dressing room. Let's just say when I came out of the dressing room, I was not laughing anymore. After taking the XL off the hanger and realizing I couldn't fit one of my legs through the waste, I took the 5L off the hanger, put it on, and could not even after sucking in get the button to touch it's hole...let alone button it. I have to note that this baby is definately not showing yet. I can't even use that as an excuse...I can't even use bloated as an excuse for what happened today! I need ice cream. Maybe I can use stupid Taiwanese sizes for an excuse. I haven't missed America in a long time, but I missed Walmart today.

Earthquake!

2009-08-22T16:41:00.004+08:00

We had an earthquake at 5:00 this morning. We actually have earthquakes quite often around here, but usually they kind of rock back and forth and it's comfortable. I often don't wake up and if I do, I always just calmly wait to see if it's going to get worse or just go away. There's never been one yet that hasn't just gone away. Today's, however,was a jumping earthquake. I was jumped off of my bed. I got up telling Max in a very panicked voice (remember I had just been thrown out of bed), "Get up! Earthquake." I ran around opening all the important doors in the house, meaning bedroom doors and the front door, because my husband told me that if the foundation is rocked loose in the building, then the building will tilt and jam all the doors shut. That means I would not be able to get to my baby. After all the doors are all open I waited. Ethan didn't wake up. There were no more tremors. So I shut our front door, thinking that if we had to we could break open our screan doors and somehow get out through the porch. And then I tried to go back to sleep. That was a joke. Max was out like nothing had happened, but I was sitting there thinking about worst case scenarios until I was bawling my eyes out. I even said a prayer hoping that if we were trapped for a few days and I couldn't get to Ethan, that God would just take him home so he wouldn't have to be scared and hungry all by himself. I just couldn't stop crying. I woke Max up with my *hffhffhff*. I was also thinking about our stupid 72 hour kits. I worked hard on those things and I even update them at least every 4 months or so, but you know, this morning when I was panicking, it didn't even cross my mind to pull those off their shelf. I think that if I had put them in the doorway the night before, I would have just kicked them out of the way cussing that something so big was between me and freedom. Maybe that's why we are supposed to practice these emergency escape procedures...I guess. Anyway, I tried everything to stop crying. I sang songs, read the scriptures, said prayers, exercised a little bit, and do you know what finally worked? Eating. I had a bowl of cereal and slept like a baby. Isn't that something.
In other news. Wednesday was my birthday, and it was a really good day. I woke up without being sick at all (I might as well note that I'm peed on a stick and got two lines, but nothing is official yet because there's no steady heartbeat...meaning I've heard the heartbeat but it's not steady yet, and so things are still up in he air...everything that is except for morning sickness and mood swings, hence the crying episode from above) and we headed to a couple missionaries house for lunch. They made this german pancake thing that was heavenly, and then they said, "This end of the mission if shutting down (for those of you who don't know and who may care, the Kaohsiung mission is no longer. We are now a part of the Taichung mission) and we're headed home in a few weeks. Do you want some stuff?" I went shopping. It was awesome. I am now the proud owner of a bike, crockpot, and an electric skillet. I can now make more than two pancakes at a time. I also inherited a triple combination scriptures set written in English, Chinese, and Roma Pinyin. You can't buy those here unless you are a missionary, and they cost $35. That's more than is in my budget for a book. Then we went to auction for a house that we LOVED! and didn't get it so that was sad, so I'm still living here in cockroach city, where the main bulevard is in my kitchen cupboard (you have to wash all the cups before and after you use them). Then grandpa took Ethan to go play and I had a much needed two hour nap. Thank you Grandpa! After that we took by cute little Taiwanese family out for Thailand food (I totally recommend it if you can ever find a place in the States). The best part of this was when we left all together on our motorcycles. I felt like we were a confused bike gang. Max took me. Grandpa took Ethan, and my sister-in-law took Grandma (my brother-in-law had to work). We were so cute!
The next day was the first day of our youth conference. I hiked our "hill"...is it a hill if you are going strait up and it takes about a half hour to get there? Anyway, I hiked it twice within a couple of hours, trying to get the first activity ready. Our nurse didn't come, so I ended up having to teach first aid for one part...that was a JOKE! "What do you do if you get that one sickness...because you're too hot...you might faint...do you know what I'm talking about?" My Chinese does not cover first aid. Oh, and this was great. I was in charge of the activity committee. We had planned an entire day of missionary activities, that the missionaries themselves were going to conduct, but it got canceled because of this last typhoon because we were going to go do service instead. So I cancelled all of the missionaries, only to get a phone call on the first day of the activity that they didn't have any more service for us to do. It was a member that was coordinating the service. We asked him what we were supposed to do and he said, "Just do your original plan." I was going to strangle him through the phone. We finally convinced him that he had to find some service for us to do, and he did. What is that? The day of the activity, telling us that we have to find another plan for the entire next day? Who thinks that is okay? My jaw is still on the floor. I actually came home the first day which I felt bad about...like I was deserting, until I got home to find my son hadn't slept all day and had driven grandpa crazy to the point where he couldn't be in the same room with him without losing his temper. It was good I came home. Now I feel like things are back to normal except:
1. I am so tired for no reason every day
2. I cry over nothing every day
3. I feel like every time I am able to poo, it deserves a celebration (That was for Sister Svedi who says I'm so honest)
4. I select what I am going to eat by picking the food that doesn't activate my gag reflex just thinking about it.
5. I can't help scoping out whatever area I'm in for good places to throw up.
I know it is such a blessing to even be able to be pregnant, but seriously? Adoption sounds sooooo good to me. I would have twelve kids in a second, if my husband would agree to adoption. I love the kids. I HATE being pregnant!

Dentist Revisited

2009-08-16T13:40:00.002+08:00

I totally bawled at the dentist the other day. As you know my front bottom tooth broke so I went to go have it filled and not 3 days later, the filling fell out taking with it even more tooth. I was on the phone with my friend Kristen, so I was trying really hard not to sound as freaked out as I was but as soon as I was off the phone, Max called the dentist and they weren't answering. He told me I might have to wait until tomorrow and all I could say as the tears are streaming down my face, "There's a hole in my tooth...a hole in my tooth. There's a hole." I cried and cried and my husband had to go to work so he told me where another dentist was and I asked Dad to take Ethan while I went to find this dentist that Max didn't love but since there was no one else, I had to go to him. I got there and he had no secretary. The people in front just had to look over the front counter to see what he was doing to his patients. He didn't have anyone helping him either. I asked if he was still seeing patients and he told me I'd have to wait for a long time, and he seemed kind of disappointed to see me take a seat, determined to wait there for however long it took. When it was finally my turn he took a look and said, "You don't want me to touch this tooth. If I do it'll just get worse." So then he proceded to tell me how a filling would just act like a shovel into my tooth every time I ate food. If he didn't touch my tooth, it would last for another 20 years without any problems, but if he did something to it, within the year, he'd have to pull the tooth. My eyes started welling up and he asked me, "Do you want me to polish it for you?" And then I lost it as I said, "Will it hurt?"...remember, they don't believe in novicane, "No, it won't hurt." *sniff sniff* "Okay" *sniff* and he polished the sharp edges of my tooth and sent me on my way without taking any money or even asking my name. I don't even know how to feel about it now.

My husband has a question

2009-08-11T21:26:00.002+08:00

Today my husband went to Qishan. They were hit really hard by the typhoon. He says houses on the inside were shin deep in mud. They went to work shoveling out the mud and at one point my husbands pants, because of water, mud, and two cell phones, started to fall down. He asked a high councilor to help him pull up his pants (my husband tells me to note that the high councilors hands were clean). He did this twice. I asked my husband why didn't you pick up your pants yourself and he said because his hands were dirty. And so I said, "So get your pants dirty." and he said he didn't want to and I said, "You had two choices, get your pants dirty (which were already dirty) or ask a man to help you pull up your pants...and you chose to ask a man to help you pull up your pants." My husband's answer was, "Yeah, what's wrong with that?" So this is the question we are asking all of you, "What's wrong with that?"

DENTIST!

2009-08-10T16:13:00.002+08:00

I went to the dentist today. The crazy thing is I went to the dentist less than a week and asked him to clean and check my teeth. He "cleaned" my teeth with a drill thing. It was worse that cavities because he was using it under the gum line. It was awful. Oh how I miss the way American destists use toothpaste to clean your teeth. That was great. Anyway, he gave me a clean bill of health and told me to come back in 6 months. Today I woke up to find one of my front bottom teeth broken. I was mad about it so we went to another dentist and he fixed me up and told me I had a cavity I had to fix too. I told him to get it over with and he gets out his drill and I say, what about that numbing shot thing and he said, "We don't use that here it's not good for you. Open wide." And you know what? It was really crappy but it didn't hurt any worse than "cleaning" my teeth did. He also told me I probably needed to switch out all the fillings between my teeth but we'd save that for another day. And the total? 3 american dollars. If you need to see a doctor for cheap, Taiwan is the place to be.

Long time no see

2009-08-04T10:46:00.005+08:00

I'm kind of embarrassed about this pictures because my shirt is too low for comfort, but Ethan has done this to all of my shirts. I can't get a picture without cleavage. So this is actually pretty decent.
Ethan just loving his celery...and it matches his clothes. By the way Katrina, this is Ethan's dad's favorite outfit, so thank you again.
Ethan's first paper airplane.
This is how he looks most of the time.
Ethan in his bathtub of toys. We keep the few toys he has in what was supposed to be his bathtub and he climbs in and out of it like he does our real bathtub.

Hello friends,

I'm sane again so it is time to update the blog. This month I have been busy with youth conference. As some of you know as I made some pretty desperate phone calls (thank you accounting services! Patti, you are my favorite, but so is everybody else so I don't know if that means anything :). and some desperate e-mails (Thanks to Heidi and Kendra). This year our theme is missionary. The first year I was stake young womens president, I had no idea what was going on, so I just kind of sat back to see how things were done around here, contributing where I could, and the result was a lot of activities that felt like school, so this year I volunteered to be activity director.THAT WAS STUPID! And I'm paying for it now. My house has not been really cleaned for two weeks! It has now because Ethan has had a fever so I stayed home from church with him and I couldn't relax in what had become cockroach city. It is so clean now. When I say a cockroach city, I mean when we come home at night (we seem to always be gone until 10:00 at night lately) we each grab a shoe before we turn on the light. Then when we turn on the light, Max and I go to town and Ethan laughs his head off, thinking that we are playing some kind of crazy game, screaming and slapping and slapping and screaming because they are everywhere. Ethan's bed gets thorough once over before I will put him on it and Max has been woken up a couple times by little ones crawling on him. I haven't been woken up by one yet, but that doesn't mean... Anyway, last night I woke up because I thought I heard Ethan crying and I jumped out of bed and scared the poo out of Max who was playing on the computer and I got to the door and opened it up before I was fully awake. I could have sworn I could here paper flapping in the wind, but as there was no wind, I knew what it was...flying cockroach, as long as your pinky and as fat as two pinkies. Max and I went crazy looking for it and he finally killed it...and then I couldn't handle it anymore. Youth conference can go down in a blaze of fire for all I care. My house is going to be mopped every day and there will never be a dirty dish in my sink again.

I actually wrote the beginning of this blog about a week ago, so I'm going to continue by telling what's happened during my week. There has been a typhoon come through Taiwan. I've never seen anything like it. All the typhoons I've been in... you know, in Taiwan, have never had the eye of the storm actually come into Taiwan. So we've been hit by the typhoon, but I've always wanted to go out and play in it. Well, you don't want to go out and play in it so much when the eye of the storm went through the middle of Taiwan so all of the island was covered in high winds and heavy rains for two days. I can't believe the flooding and I was so scared our air conditioners were going to blow away. The wind sounded like it could do it. Max didn't work for two days and he's never had two days off of work or school for a typhoon, ever. I can't believe the flooding. It's made me more sure that the next house we buy has to be an apartment building and not a house. In the news we watched a hotel get blown over on the east side of the island. Crazy! But we are fine. The worst we got at our house is that church was canceled, because the roads were flooded. What with Ethan's fever last week and the typhoon this week, I haven't been to church in two weeks and I don't remember that ever happening. I'm kind of feeling it.

Let's see, what else has happened. Today on the way home from Grandma's and Grandpa's Max and I watched a guy get on his motorcycle and promptly fall over on his face. I made Max pull over and drive the guy to the hospital. Totally drunk. I was driving our motorcycle behind them and I could smell him, but he'd smashed his face pretty hard and I figured he probably wouldn't know how to get home with how out of it he was. It was easy for me to be the good Samaritan in this case because I was driving behind. Poor Max had to let him sit behind him and Max said he pretty much was laying on his back burping in his ear by the time we got to the hospital. It makes me so mad. I have no patience for people who drink. It's stupid and evil...I can think of no better word for something that makes you become mean and violent, and if not violent at least stupid and disrespectful. If this is offensive to anyone...all I can say is you probably deserve it. Sorry...I've heard some stories lately about people I love who become big jerks when they drink and it makes me sad and sick, so tonight reminded me of it again and I'm using my blog to tell everyone how disgusted I am...Wow, I didn't see that one coming.

Let's talk about Ethan now so I can stop fuming. Ethan is still crawling and he's starting to mimic noises. He'll play hide and seek with me and peek-a-boo. He's the one that hides and then pops out. He loves to look at me from underneath the coffee table glass and then say "hi". He has no idea what he's saying but that's what I always say to him when he does it, so he's starting to say it back. He says a really clear baba, which doesn't mean dad like my husband would like it to mean. And he says momomom when he's angry and sad. Yesterday he was throwing a tantrum in his crib, also a new development, and after about 5 minutes of his not calming down but I was calmed down, I went in and he grabbed one of the bars on his crib to stand up but his hand slipped and he hit his head on the crib bars. I pulled him out of bed to find he had a bloody nose. That was heart wrenching.

Okay, I can't think of anything else to say now. I'm trying to think if there are any funny Taiwanese anecdotes I can share...Oh yes, my father-in-law and I have been fighting about how many stars are on the flag and how many states are in the United States. He keeps insisting there are 51. I know I always fell asleep in social studies...but there are 50 state in the US. I'm sure of it. Max and I finally pulled up a picture of the American flag and we counted the stars together. There are 50. I kept telling him I'm an American and why wouldn't he believe me. He said it was because he had been taught in school that there were 51 stars and they represented the 51 states and the 13 stripes represented the 13 original states. I told him the latter part was true but the former wasn't and he said just a couple days ago he saw another educational program on TV that confirmed there were 51 stars and 13 stripes so he was sure I was wrong...Apparently Taiwan is fixing to become the 51st state? I have to say it never occurred to me when I learned in second grade about the flag that I would have to defend what I had learned against my future father-in-law. Life's funny sometimes.

We're Wireless Baby!

2009-07-25T10:47:00.003+08:00

That's right. We have updated and now I don't have to be in the office to update this blog. Ethan is asleep right now so I have all the time in the world...sort of. This morning was kind of typical. I am the activity days leader. I have the activities at my home...but nobody comes. I've prayed about it and I feel really good about what I'm doing. I'm prepared and I want to fulfill my calling, and I think God is accepting that for now, but I don't know how to make the situation better. I have the activity announced during morning announcements in sacrament but I think there were only about ten people in the chapel that hear those morning announcements. Then I announced it in the senior primary class, and about every two months at least once I have to cancel or reschedule so I call everyone, even those who have never come. It serves as a reminder that we have these activities...but no one comes. I really do feel good about what I'm doing, but it makes me sad that the parents in our ward don't see this as an important part of the children's lives. I'm asking for suggestions. Is there anything else ya all think I can do? We haven't tried a "sitdown" with the parents because I just don't think that would be affective...I don't think they would come. Maybe I'm underestimating them.

pillow talk

2009-07-17T12:53:00.002+08:00

Here's one of the many conversations I have had with my husband when he is almost asleep (that takes him all of five minutes) and I still can't sleep:

Joy: Do you know how many stars are in the sky?
Max: *sigh* no
Joy: That's how much I love you. And do you know how much sand is on the beach?
Max: no
Joy: That's how much I love you. And do you know how much chocolate I ate today?
Max: You ate chocolate?
Joy: Yes. I love you more than that. And do you know how many hairs are on my legs?
Max: *chuckle* No
Joy: I love you more than that. Okay, I'm done. Your turn.
Max: *laughing so hard he can't breathe now because he thinks he's so funny* Do you know how many cockroaches are in our house?
Joy: *also laughing so hard I can't breathe* No
Max: I love you more than them. (Do you think he loves me more than the number or just more than he loves cockroaches?)

2009-07-14T17:37:00.003+08:00

I’m really kind of angry at myself about something. My husband and I went to the temple together on Saturday and we took Ethan with us. I took the camera too! And then didn’t take one picture. I kept thinking we’d have time and then the time was gone. I’m sooo sad about it. It was kind of an eventful trip though. On Friday I spent the entire day making food for Ethan and freezing it into ice cubes so it would thaw on the bus and then we could feed Ethan. I figured out how to make bottles in the time allotted…My point is I had plans for this kid and his food. I spent a lot of time on those plans (I know what some of you are thinking. Why didn’t you just get some of those Gerber bottles of food and juice and feed him those? It’s because I HAD PLANS. I didn’t need stupid Gerber’s help). Whelp, needless to say, my boy came home hungry. That’s not the best part though. We went with the stake to the temple, so the first session we were there was at 10:00 ( We left Kaohsiung at 4 in the morning). We sat that one out and then one of the members said he’d meet us at 12:00 someplace. He’d take Ethan and we could do the next session together. Good deal. So we did that (in the meantime we were busy, really busy with uninteresting stuff that I’m not going to write here, but that stuff is why we didn’t take any pictures). And then when we came out of the temple we ran for the bus and then listened to the stake members as they described changing my boy’s diaper. They changed his diaper on one of the tables in the chapel next to the temple. He screamed and cried and twisted when they took of his peepee diaper and they didn’t hang on to him. So he got away, crawled a little bit, laughed and peed, crawled a little bit, laughed and pooed, then crawled a little bit, laughed and pooed again, on the chapel table. I was embarrassed and yet so glad I didn’t have to be there for it. Then that night when we got home (and my ankles looked like sausage. They always look like that when I take the bus. It’s weird. It’s taken two days for me to be able to see my ankles again) we gave Ethan a bath and he did the same routine again in my bathtub. I told Max we are never getting a dog. I was almost throwing up because I had to pick up his poo with a newspaper. I could never do that for a dog. Max agreed.

Last night we went with the grandparents and our son to a barbecue.

Then on our way home Ethan fell asleep. So we took a picture

and just as the camera flashed, it started to rain…sheets of it.

Ethan loved the rain. He just kept looking at us and smiling then looking at the sky and then looking at us like, "Do you see what's going on?"

For those of you who are indignant that my son is not in a car seat, please don’t write any comments telling me about it. I’m debating whether I should put these pictures on my blog, but since this is a chronicle about raising my son in Taiwan, and most of our really big adventures happen on the motorcycle, in years to come I’ll regret it if I don’t put these pictures up.

HELLO!!!

2009-07-06T10:40:00.005+08:00

I know it has been a long time since I have updated this thing, but really I have a good excuse. My father-in-law felt sorry for my son for some reason…it could have been because he was getting horrible heat rash because of our 100+ F temperatures and the heat rash I was fighting with putting him to bed with a wet towel, a fan, and an open window (which was totally working but is the kiss of death according to Taiwanese parents…something wet and a fan while sleeping?! What kind of a parent are you?!) so anyway he bought us an air conditioner for Ethan, which was really nice, I admit I was rankled at the time because there was no, “Would you like an AC?” it was more like, “We’re coming over at _ o’clock.” Then they ended up having to put the AC in the office instead of his bedroom, so we moved his crib into the office and now the time I usually spend on the computer while he is asleep is spent reading (our TV is broken) so that’s the deal. I’m actually writing this entry on Word and then I’m going to have to paste it later. Oh, and for the record, I’m really grateful they got us an AC. We would have done it if they hadn’t because my son was melting, but grandpa just couldn’t wait. Nothing is too good for his grandson. It’s kind of really cute.

Okay, where did I leave off last time? Jiunwei’s wedding. I do have to make a confession here (and if you don’t want to read something that has to do with “girl stuff” STOP READING NOW). I was reading the entry from last time and I don’t think I was very fair or even nice. I found out the next day that I was definitely PMSing. After over a year of not having a period…let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.

So let me just give the hilights of this wedding. Oh wait, we were doing the engagement party. Basically we went to her house bearing gifts and then they worshipped ancestors and then dinner. Apparently that made things official. The wedding was a two day affair. The first day was Jiunwei’s side of the family (Jiunwei is my husband’s little brother). In the morning Jiunwei and his groomsmen went to go pick up Xiaoyan (his wife) they worshipped ancestors there and then came to our house and did the same thing. The best of the morning for me was when I woke up really early and stressed about what to wear and then not having enough time to put on make-up before I got to me in-law’s house, I took it with me. Then I went in the bathroom and realized it was too hot to put make-up on in there so I came out and my mother-in-law and her sister said to me, “Don’t worry about it. You have a lot of time to change your clothes.” Then when they saw my face and realized I wasn’t planning on my clothes, the aunt said to my mother, “Don’t worry about it. Just let her be comfortable.” I had a complex all night.

That night my father-in-law got really drunk at the wedding dinner. It was amazing. Before he got drunk, he got up to give his well-wishes and to mine and my husband’s great surprise he told everyone he hoped they would build their marriage on the mormon creed “No amount of success can compensate for failure in the home.” If it had stopped there that would have been fine, but as he got drunker he became more and more of a missionary. Max was kind of excited about it, “Do you think we should help him explain to people about our church?” I told him I thought in this circumstance it would probably be better if we pretended we didn’t know what he was talking about. This rubbed up against Max’s own missionary grain.

A picture of the engagement party:

The next day was the dinner at Xiaoyan’s house. It was outside in the street. Anyone that’s been to Taiwan, especially southern Taiwan has seen these. Imagine the worst one ever…complete with bikini wearing karaoke singers that say, “he he, I’m a little cold,” in 105 degree weather and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what happened. I was watching Max the entire night. I don’t know if he knew so he just didn’t dare to look at the stage…but I really think he’s just that good. I sure do love that man. That reminds me. That was mother’s day and I had told him a few days earlier that I knew mother’s day was on his brother’s wedding day\, but if I didn’t get some kind of recognition, I would be really sad. He gave me the best present ever. He sent me on a card hut and wrote some really sweet things. I’ll keep the sappy stuff out of this blog, but just know I was really have for weeks. I still am so happy just thinking about it.

Since that was May and this is July, let me try to think of some updates for you. Ethan is growing and is so hilarious. He’s already got a “polite laugh”. He knows when I’m trying to be funny and he’ll king of laugh for me and then do his own thing. When he really laughs, he always drops a few tears because he’s laughing so hard. We had family home evening the other night and Max taught me a game (thanks again Martha for the UNO cards) where you slap the cards when certain numbers come up. Ethan couldn’t sleep that night because he couldn’t stop laughing. He laughs like that when we smash cockroaches, which are taking over the house. I mop the floor every day and there are never dishes in the sink and I’m still drowning in them. We can’t wait to move. We’ve found a place but we are waiting for the price to go down. Ethan has been loving water drains. As soon as I’m not looking he crawls just as fast as any cockroach I’ve ever seen over to the drain on the floor in our kitchen and yanks the top off. It’s soooooo gross. You know that’s where the cockroaches hang out during the day. One of the lovely perks of living on a tropical island.

I was making Ethan’s dinner tonight and laughing about what I was making for him. It was rice and carrots that I put too much water in so the rice would be super soft. That’s what they feed kids here. I give my kids squash and sweet potatoes all the time too. I’m thinking though that I give him too much of the same stuff over and over again, so if you all would tell me the stuff you feed your kids (unless it’s like cake and ice cream because my kid gets a ton of that already…they tell me kids shouldn’t eat junk food and shove cake in his mouth while they’re saying it. They fed it to him yesterday until he threw up. I however am a good mom because I never feed him that stuff myself…because I eat it all while he is sleeping.

I just realized that my anniversary was also at the end of May and I’ve been meaning to write a bunch of nice things about my husband here (and that’s so easy to do) but I think I better give you a heads up that this is going to get pretty sappy.

TOP 10 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY HUSBAND:

1. He’ll give me a kiss goodbye in public even though he hates to do it.

2. As long as the dishes aren’t in the sink and the garbage has been taken out, he thinks the house is clean.

3. He tells me that he loves me and that I’m beautiful every day. And the crazy part is that I think he means it.

4. He can talk with me about the gospel and give me insights I’d never thought of before and then when we are done talking about it, he says every time, “I’m so lucky I got to marry you.”

5. I can’t wait until he gets home from work everyday, because I know we are going to sit and laugh and laugh about all the stupid everyday stuff that happened to us during the day.

6. He will be talking about something and then a faraway look in his eye and then say, “Our son is so cute.”

7. I love it when Ethan is sleepy he always reaches for Daddy. Come to think of it, I do that too.

8. When I am cooking I can hear Ethan laughing until he can’t breathe because daddy is playing with him.

9. He feeds my chocolate cravings. We even have a chocolate fund in our budget.

10. When he has a day off, he will take me wherever to do whatever I want to do. He says when I am happy he is happy.

I can honestly say I feel like I’m the luckiest girl I’ve ever met. These two years we have never ever fought and I think I’ve only been angry at him twice in my life, both of which times he was very sweet and quick to take care of whatever was the problem…even if the problem was just that I haven’t slept well for a few days. He’s never ever criticized me. The only thing I’ve ever heard him say to me has been encouraging. My self-confidence has sky rocketed since I have been with him. I just wish all my friends were as happy as I am.

Okay I’m done. Wait… 我愛你駿得. 感謝你讓我是全世界最幸福的女生. Okay, now I’m really done.

PS. I wrote all the stuff above yesterday, but there was something else I wanted to write. Two things actually. Ethan gives kisses now. He has for the past month or so, but they are the scariest things in the world. He opens his mouth puts it on your face and bites down, and if you fight it, he grabs your hair and pulls you in. It's terrifying.

The other thing I wanted to write was about Taiwanese parenting. I have to laugh because when I talk with other parents about how they raise their kids and I say stuff like, "You don't have to hold him to put him to sleep if that makes you too tired. You can let him cry a little bit and he'll go to sleep by himself," and they look at me like that's awful and they say, "It's different Joy. You foreigners and your kids are so independent. Your baby sleeps in his own bedroom right?" "Yes, doesn't yours?" "No he sleeps with me." He sleeps with you and your husband?" "No, my husband sleeps on the floor." I am not kidding you! This is not just one friend that has said this. And they talk about Ethan like the next step after sleeping in his own room is to go get a job. I just wanted to throw that in here.

2009-05-06T09:12:00.004+08:00

I was talking to a sister in church about her boy and she was telling me that he was a really late talker. One of her friends looked in his mouth and suggested that his tongue might be hinged in too tight so they took him to the doctor and the doctor helped him snip the piece of skin that looks like a string underneath your tongue if you lift it up. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THAT? When I told my husband, he was like, "Yeah..." I don't know. Maybe you all are having the same reaction, but I think its CRAZY!!!

Speaking of crazy, my husband's little brother is getting married this month, and I'm seeing what it would have been like if my husband and I had just given in and let his parents take care of it. Aaaaah! Right now, as we speak, my father-in-law is painting his bedroom because when they are married, they will be living in that room. Does this freak anyone else out?! When I asked if Xiaoyan (that's her name) wanted to live in that room his dad answered that it was supposed to be my room but I went and got an apartment (without even discussing it with them. They are still a little hurt by that). Apparently she couldn't stay in weiwei's (that's the little brother's name) original room (for those of you who don't know, people who get married live with the boy's parents. I've gotten a lot of flack for living in an apartment with my husband and taking care of my baby instead of working and letting my in-laws raise him) because she would be sleeping in the room behind the worshipping table (that's where they burn incense to worship ancestors and other gods) and that might affect her unborn children (you know, ghosts hang out around that table and if you've read my pregnant blogs, you know how those ghosts love to torment unborn babies).

On Sunday we are going to dinghun, which means we are going to make the engagement official. So we go to the girl's house and they exchange money and eat dinner...Max's family is literally buying this girl. I'll update you on how that goes when it happens. They are making me miss church for it, so it better be really good.

Then for the wedding, they will go in the morning to the girls house and give the girl gold to wear (it's going to be really tacky. Gold everywhere in these traditional weddings. I can't wait) and then they will worship her ancestors. Then they'll bring her back to weiwei's house where my mother-in-law will hide until after they have finished worshipping weiwei's ancestors and then she will come out (if she comes out before that, their relationship will be bad...I've never seen this tradition save any mother/daughter-in-law relationship, but you know, common sense doesn't matter in these cases. We just have to do it...just in case it does help). After that Xiaoyan (the bride) must sit in her room (that used to be her mother and father -in-law's) and she can't come out until dinner that night. I asked Weiwei (the little brother) what he would be doing during this time and he said, "I'll probably take my groom's men out for lunch." I wanted to kick his teeth. She's probably going to be sitting in her new bedroom, new house, with her new in-law's outside talking in whispers while she's inside the room crying and thinking, "What am I doing?" and he's out with his buddies eating lunch. Just writing this, I want to kick his teeth. To make things worse for her, she's pregnant (can't judge them, it's "normal" now to do stuff like this). As if being pregnant isn't a big enough emotional roller coaster, she's got to get married too.

There's lots more where that came from but my boy's awake. I'll let you know how it plays out as it plays out. In the meantime, here's what my good friend Marcia calls "Stinkin' cute pictures."

Self-confessed Geek

2009-04-28T12:55:00.002+08:00

Call me a geek, but this video makes me laugh and cry every time I see it and I've seen it so many times. This video is so famous here in Taiwan but because it's British television, I thought maybe you all in the States had not seen it yet. Go to youtube and check it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=TW&hl=en&v=luRmM1J1sfg

Sooooo typical!

2009-04-26T22:00:00.004+08:00

I'm trying to put some pictures of Ethan on here for you all to see, but this stupid computer...or internet I should say, is giving me grief so we may have to wait for another update. But that would be a shame because we have some pretty good ones this time. They can't compare with Kristen's because she's gone all professional. Kris, you want to come out here and take some decent family pictures of my family? I'd really appreciate it.

CONGRATULATIONS!!! That's for my little brother Thomas and his new little wife Heather. We're hoping for the best for both of you. and....

CONGRATULATIONS!!! That's for another person's engagement, but seeing as how I don't know if it's been announced yet, I won't say who the person is. You know who you are...I think.

Oh and CONGRATULATIONS!!!! to my new follower James and his wife. I think (but I'm not sure because they haven't updated the blog yet) that they've just had their first baby. I'm so happy for you both.

Let's see, as for other news...Yesterday was the Qishan chapel open house. I'm the Young Women's president so I took my son and we spent the entire day there. Qishan is about a 45 minute drive so the stake presidency set up car pooling for those of us who had to go, so I went the the chapel here and then got into the stake president's car with my son. My dress got caught on something as I got in but I took it off whatever it was caught on and then we drove to Qishan. When we got there the stake presidency was there, mission president, public relations missionaries from Taipei came down, one Asia area authority had come and then there were many VIP's, meaning Taiwan government officials that had come. I was greeting everyone because people saw Ethan and had to come over and play with him. I finally got into the chapel and then heard a Sister make a sharp intake of breath noise. Then she siddled up real close behind me and said, "Sister, walk with me into the bathroom." So we wadled into the bathroom because she had plastered herself to my back. When we got to the bathroom she pointed at my bum and there was a HOLE in my DRESS!!! BIG ENOUGH TO PUT MY FIST THROUGH...RIGHT ON THE BUUUUUM CHEEEEEEEEK!!!!! I yelled in English, "You're KIDDING ME! Welcome to our newest chapel. I hope you won't forget us. Here, THIS WILL HELP YOU REMEMBER!! Yes, my underwear is different than most people's. If you'd like to learn more about them, on the second floor they will teach you about our sacred temples, and when they talk about this underwear, you can tell them, you know what they're talking about because you've ALREADY SEEN THEM!!" I was dying. And what could I do. I don't carry around a sewing kit and my but is three times the size of an average Taiwanese woman's so I couldn't ask to borrow someone else's dress. I did what any born and bred Larson would do...I got out my tape. That's right I was taping my dress together thinking to myself, "Won't it be great when in about a half hour another sister makes another sharp inhale of breath sound because I've got a hole in my dress and somehow it's been taped open. I was trying to make the best of things by thinking, "I can be like Jo March who doesn't dance at the party because I've got to keep my back to the wall. She met that nice boy at the party...but I'm HAPPILY married so I won't be meeting any boys..." This is what I was thinking when a Sister came into the bathroom (I had the tape out and was preparing to take off the skirt) and she said, "What are you doing? That's not going to work." and I was like, "Do you have a better idea?" and she said, "I'll be right back. She came back with needle and thread and another sister who could sew. I said, "Where did you find these?" and she said, "Where they are teaching about the Relief Society, " I've never been so appreiciative of the Relief Society organization. I remember hearing stories about how Relief Society Sisters made pants for the temple workers back in the day...well that service has not stopped. I was soooo happy I could put my tape away. So I went into a bathroom stall while she worked on my dress. Then a young woman came in and said, "Joy, do you want breakfast?" I was sitting on a toilet seat in a bathroom stall, but I was going to be there for a while (it was a SOFTBALL SIZED HOLE!), so I said yes and ate a sandwich and drank chocolate milk, pantless, sitting on a toilet seat. What's crazy is, after all of this that afternoon I was talking to a sister who had lipstick on her teeth and debated whether or not I should tell her because she might get embarrased...I told her.

The Longest Entry EVER

2009-04-17T10:38:00.006+08:00

My boy is sooo tired but a helicopter woke him up. Now there's nothing I can do to make him happy so it's back to bed for him, so he's screaming, and I'm trying to pretend I can't hear him while I write this blog to divert my attention. I think his top tooth is getting ready to come down...poor kid. There are actually a lot of things I could be doing to divert my attention right now like finishing the open house poster I'm doing for Young Women's or I could prepare achievement days for tomorrow that's going to be at my house (how do I make preparing a family home evening on the first vision fun for eight year olds?) or I could be getting ready for primary on Sunday...I had to get all that out because I just want to scream about how overwhelmed I am with church and this is the only place I can scream where people will hear me but I won't freak out my husband and kid...you understand. So being an active member in Taiwan is crazy busy, but it does have its perks...You know, if I just feed him, I'm sure he'd go happily to sleep. I think I'm going to try it because he's so sad right now. I'll let you know in a minute how it goes...Nope it didn't work. He's still screaming. So what was I saying? Oh yes, perks. When I took my husband back to the US with me before we got married, he said he couldn't wait to meet the prophet, and if not the prophet he was sure he'd be able to meet one of the apostles because their are 12 of them. He thought his chances were pretty good, but as you probably guessed we did not see, let alone meet either. But in these three years I've lived in Taiwan I've had a personal interview with the Asian area presidency, had Elder Richard G. Scott wink at me, and last night Sister Bednar shook Ethan's hand and Elder Bednar shook his foot (both of which were the right side in case you were wondering)...You'd think his being touched by an apostle of God would have some kind of magical affect on him like helping him know he should just go to sleep when he's tired instead of screaming like I'm abusing him but it didn't. Last night we went to a fireside at the chapel here in which Elder David Bednar was the speaker (and my little husband acted as his body guard. How funny is that?) We got to the church at about six. I took Ethan upstairs to find a seat and the front row was the only space left so we happily took it. Then my husband sent someone to ask me if I was hungry because there was food in the kitchen. I saved our seats and went down only to mind that Elder Bednar was in the relief society room which is right next door to kitchen. I ate my sandwich so quietly because I was trying to eavesdrop but I was unsuccessful. Then I went back upstairs, had a seat and waited until seven. Then someone stole my husband's seat and I couldn't persuade him that wasn't a good idea (he was giving the opening prayer so he should have sat on the stand, right?) Then after my husband was done "bodyguarding", he looked at me and found no seat so he sat right next to the door which was reserved for the "bodyguards" (Ethan's finally stopped sing/crying). As the meeting started Ethan immediately wanted to get down and crawl around. I wouldn't let him so he got fussy. I was next to the wall so I just stood up and was trying to keep him from getting loud as he's bouncing around and climbing all over me(can you guess how much of what was being said I was absorbing?). Finally he started talking really loud and I had to take him out, so I head to the back and my husband grabs him from me and tells me to take his seat and he goes outside. He opened the door to the foyer and it was so LOUD outside. Every kid in Kaohsiung was out there playing tag! I felt bad for my husband because I thought he was going to miss everything, but it turns out he had deeper insights into what was being shared than I did. So here's what was said:

Elder Bednar made this a question and answer session. He said (paraphrased of course), "I don't know you and I don't know what your needs are. I could give you an amazing talk filled with deep doctrine and you may or may not be able to accept it. Your questions will help me know what you are ready to hear." Do you know what my righteous thought was when he gave us this amazing opportunity? "Look out, because here come the crazies!" There were two questions that were from definate crazies and two that were at least akward if not crazy. The first crazy gave a lot of doctrinal accounts as to why we know there was a life before this life and how did we learn there? and why won't people believe me? and we all need to repent...it was really hard to understand. The other crazy question was the man was a clerk in the Kaohsiung first ward and he's been looking for the date of an important event that has happened in their ward. He can't find it so, "Please apostly Bednar, could you tell me the date?" Not kidding. I was so impressed with the way Elder Bednar handled it. Everybody was laughing out of embarrasement when these questions were asked and the spirit was gone but he brought it all back. He answered the first question by telling all that is doctrinally known about about the pre-earth life (and when he asked her if she was satisfied with the answer, she said, "If that is God's answer, I will accept it.") and answered the second by explaining the wisdom of the organization of the church and then delegated the answering of that question to the stake president who then very red faced got up and said he would find the answer and get back to him.

Before he started the question and answer session he gave examples of what he said were both good questions but one was better than the other. A good question is, "Where is the sword of Laban today?" and I better question if, "What have you learned from praying together with the apostles and prophets of the church about prayer?" Isn't that a great question?! I'm so sad I didn't get up and ask it. I was so dissatisfied with the questions people were asking but I couldn't put my finger on why, nor could I think of a good question that would be satisfying to me. My husband later said that the reason was probably because everyone was asking questions that were based on the theme, "I've run into this problem, can you give me a magic formula?" whereas the "better question" that Elder Bednar posed was based on the theme of, "I love and want to know more about the gospel." It's so true and as I was thinking about my prayers, I am on the problem/magic formula level. No wonder I couldn't come up with any great questions.

So the first question centered on missionary work. She wanted to help people who are close to her learn about the gospel, but she has had no training in how to do this (and I love this part) could there be a program started to give members more professional training on how to be missionaries? (It started out with such potential and then got weird at the end). He said even the missionaries are not given professional training (and then laughed at the thought that 12, and 20 year old boys that have to teach using mandarine could be thought of as professional), but they are given the tools they need in the scriptures and prayer. He taught about how it is the members' responsibility to find prepared souls, not the missionaries' and that it is okay to tell someone you don't know the answer to their questions but you will find out.

The next question was from a woman who said she had been "wounded severely" and wanted to know how to handle this in a christian manner. Elder Bednar taught a principle that he reiterated several times during the two hours. He said, "Have you ever said, 'He made me mad,' or 'That made me mad.' If you have, that is an incorrect thing to say. Something else cannot make you mad. You are an agent unto yourself. You choose whether you will be angry. You choose how you will handle it." Then he elaborated on that and then said, "Have you ever tried to be angry and read the scriptures wholeheartedly at the same time? You can't do it. Have you ever tried to pray with full heart and purpose when you are angry? You can't. It is impossible. You will learn to love someone as you serve them. You will replace anger as you pray and read the scriptures." These quotes once again are all paraphrased. The adward part of this question came when the woman said "But what this person did was REALLY bad?" and he said, "Just work at it. Make today better than yesterday and tomorrow better than today. If you can do that, you'll be just fine."

Another young man said he was single and how could he change that circumstance. I love Elder Bednar's answer. He said traditions of dating and marriage are different all over the world, but there is one method that transcends all cultures and countries. No matter where you go in the world single young men and women have lists. "I want my husband/wife to have these 3 or 4 traits. You have three of the 4 so you have potential. You have only 2 so I will not waste my time with you." Then Elder Bednar raised his voice and said, "Throw the list out! Let's say you find someone that has all four attributes. What makes you think she's going to want you? Who told you, you were a catch? That list is for you. If you want someone with certain qualities, you work on those qualities so when that other people with those qualities will find you attractive." He also went on to say that you shouldn't look for a finished product to marry. You should find someone that you can work on being a finished product together. It takes years to be finished. Marriage is only the beginning.

Another young man was curious as to how Elder Bednar knew his wife was to be his eternal companion. Elder Bednar deffered the question to the Asia area president who said he knew his wife was going to be his eternal companion from the first time he saw her in a sacrament meeting at one of his mission companion's homecoming sacrament meetings. Then Elder Bednar said he and Sister Bednar dated for a year and a half before they got married. Their first date was not great. He asked her out again because he thought she was a good girl and she wasn't sure why she accepted because there was nothing very spectacular about the first date. He said they were opposite to the point that when they walk out of a hotel room, one turns right to go to the elevator and the other turns left. There were no sparks or revelations, it was just an appreciation for each other that grew over time. Sister Bednar said that if she knew that he would later become an apostle, she probably would not have married him.

There was a return missionary who said that on coming home from his mission he could see there were many people in the church who needed help, who were inactive, and needed love and support. He wanted to help those people but he could see that the most basic things like home teaching were not being done in the ward. How can the ward help those who are inactive if they can't even support and uphold those who are? Elder Bednar responded by saying that the church as a whole places far too much emphasis on programs. When we see a problem with the stats when we look at visiting teaching, we think, "Let's change up the program. Let's change who's teaching with whom and who they are going to visit." The same is true in other areas. If the numbers are not high for temple attendance, let's rent a bus so more people will go. The problem is, as soon as you don't provide the bus, people stop going to the temple again. Changing the program is not a bad thing. Getting a bus for the temple is not a bad thing. It just doesn't get to the root of the problem. "If you want to change behavior, teach the doctrine. If the brethren are not doing their home teaching, it is not because they are too busy. It is not because they are lazy. Men can go to a person's home to visit and never really do their home teaching. The brethren are not doing their home teaching because they don't understand the covenant they have made. They don't understand that part of the covenant they have made is to take care of God's sheep." He talked a little bit more about the doctrine behind home teaching and then he said, "Here's another example of teaching doctrine to change behavior. Before I give this example, Bishop's in the congregation, please do not do what I did. I had a father in my ward who was not paying his tithing. I called him into my office and said, 'Brother, you have not been paying you tithing.' He put his head on the table and confessed that he hadn't. I said, "Would you be willing to give your four children to me and my wife to be sealed to us in the temple?" His head shot up and he said, 'Bishop, you're crazy.' I told him, 'If you are not paying your tithing, you are not worthy to enter the temple. If you are not able to enter the temple you will not be with your family in the eternities. At least give your children the opportunity to be sealed to someone who is working at it.' He said he'd never thought of it that way and he became a full tithed payer."

Another brother said he along with many other members have run into problems with the economy and losing their jobs. He wanted to know how he could deal with this and be there for his family and be a church leader and take care of others who are having the same problems that he is having. Elder Bednar told us to look at Mosiah 24: 13-15. I was so lucky because I had just read that the day before so even though I didn't take my scriptures (that was stupid, I know) and they were reading in Chinese, I totally knew what was going on. He noted that when the prayed and God told them their burdens would be made light, a normal person would think, " I want that. Just take this burden away from me. Make it light." Everybody wants that result but nobody likes the process. Elder Bednar also pointed out that in answering this people's prayers, he noted that fact that they were a covenant making people. This doctrine I (Joy) personally don't understand. Why the covenants we make and our answers to prayer are so related...they talked about this in general conference too. If anyone has a response to that, I'd love to hear it. Then of course Elder Bednar pointed out that God did not take the burden away, but made them stronger so they would feel like it was lighter. Then he talked of the example of Nephi. When Nephi was on the ship and had been bound by his brothers he said a prayer. Elder Bednar said that if that were him he would pray that god would send somebody to do something bad to his brothers and send somebody to loose his bands. But Nephi didn't pray that way. He didn't pray as if he were an object and something else had to move or something else had to move him in order for him to be happy. He prayed as an agent unto himself. He prayed that God would give him the strength so he could burst the bands himself and even then Elder Bednar said he didn't believe the bands just miraculously fell off. He believes Nephi still had to work with it, but his was given more strength and will to keep working at it. Then he invited us to look at the way we pray. Do we pray that God will give us the money we need to live or do we pray that we will have the strength, wisdom, and direction we need as we prepare and go out to find a job ourselves. How do we pray about missionary work. Do we pray that God will lead the missionaries to those who are ready to hear the gospel, or do we pray that God will help us to lead the missionaries to those who are ready to hear the gospel. He then noted that we can measure our conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ by how willing we are to open our mouths and share the gospel. He then gave one more example of burdens being lightened. His wife during each one of her three pregnancies had what he called eight months or debilitating morning sickness. Their desire was too raise children in the gospel. They wanted to give physical bodies to God's spirit children. They therefore prayed that if it was God's will, they would like for this burden to be lifted. Instead of lifting it, God gave her the strength and patience to bear it. This made me think of Ishmael's daughters and how they were pregnant and had to bear and nurse babies while walking and sailing to the promised land. I can't even handle a bus ride for a day.

Another brother in a very teary eyed fashion informed the group that the seeds of destruction have been sewn and we are now reaping the rewards (if not crazy, at least awkward) and is there anything Elder Bednar could say to help the people of Taiwan to understand the urgency of a year's supply of food. Elder Bednar said this is good advice for anybody, not just Taiwan and directed our attention to the general conference. He said if you watch their is a theme on Saturday and a different but related theme on Sunday. He also said, "It is interesting to note that those talks were not assigned or coordinated. I did not know what any of my colleagues were going to talk about, nor did they have any idea what I was going to talk about." That floored me because when I heard the Saturday and Sunday talks I caught on to the theme and totally thought they were coordinated. "Robert D. Hales set the tone on Saturday with a talk on provident living and on Sunday I and several others talked about the temple and the protective covenants we make there. Those are not just talks brothers and sisters. They are instructions for our day. Study and apply them." Max and I haven't gone to the temple in almost a year. When I was about five months pregnant we took a bus trip to Taipei and it was so miserable I refused to do it again until after Ethan was born and then he was born and that was a whole other mess so now Max and I have decided to go to the temple on the 30th of the month and I'm excited to figure out what exactly those talks were really about on Sunday's meeting.

A woman stood up and said she is doing all she can to do what the gospel teaches but her husband did not join the church with her and her children have become inactive. What advice do you have for me? Elder Bednar says that Joseph Smith has taught that those who are faithful to their covenants will not be deprived of any blessing. He could not explain further than that but he hoped she would take comfort in the fact that God would make it right for her.

The last one I can think of was a little boy who said that his dad was not a member of the church. What could he do to help him? Elder Bednar said this was the most inspired question of the night. He went on to tell his own story. His mother had been a member of the church from birth and could trace her ancestors back to the very earliest converts to the church. However, she did not marry a member of the church. His father had spent many years studying to be a catholic priest and he has an aunt that is a catholic nun. There is not any other apostle who as this background (he said). When he was young, his father attended church with him and his mother every week and every week he would ask his dad when he was going to join the church. He believes he was brought to this earth to help his dad accept the gospel. Every week his dad would reply, "I will not join for you. I will not join for your mother. I will join when I know it is the right thing to do so stop asking. But he continued to ask every week. One week his dad said, "I have a question for you. Your church claims to have the restored priesthood. You claim that my church lost that priesthood years ago and therefore it had to be restored in your church. If that's the case then why is it in priesthood every week I hear the bishop and the Elders quorum president beg and plead for the brethren to do their home teaching. If this is the true church with the restored priesthood, then why is it that the brethren of your church are no better than the brethren of mine in doing their ecclesiastical duties?" Elder Bednar was only 11 years old. He didn't know how to answer. He said last night that his father was wrong in judging the truthfulness of the church by the weakness of its members but he was right to expect that the members of our church should be different, not better, but different than members of other churches. When the boy Elder Bednar faced his dad with this question he resolved to be a good boy. He wanted to do everything right so his father would not be able to use him as a reason to not join the church. He told this boy to be a good boy. He would be different than those children around him at school and maybe even at home, but his father would notice the difference in his boy and would want to know why, "Just be a good boy."

Speaking of good boys, mines awake again and he's finding all the places in my house that are dirty for me so I can clean them so if you read the whole thing, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

2009-04-14T20:28:00.002+08:00

I have to say thank you to Rebecca...I've never been so happy to get a chain letter. I'm totally going to pass it on too because it gave me a warm fuzzy, but I'm just too pooped (not literally) to do it now.
My baby is a crawler. He's been crawling really well for 2 weeks. I tell you what, my house is so clean right now because my boy has spit shined all my floors. It's awesome. The other day I mopped the floors and he was crawling and slipped down onto his tummy. When he tried to get up he slipped again and laughed his head off. He had a great time slipping around on my wet floor.
I just had to write this because it made me crazy. Any of you who have lived in Taiwan will appreciate this. I went to the post office today to mail off my taxes (because they are due tomorrow) and while I was waiting in line I was looking at all the stuff you could buy there, flour, noodles, vitamin pills, insurance, etc. They had the most random stuff. I was thinking, "If I want a bag of sugar I would never think to go to the post office." Then it was my turn and the guy said the envelope I put my taxes in was only for Taiwan. I needed to use a "western" envelope. "How much will that cost me?" I asked. "How much will what cost you?" "The envelope." "I don't know. 10 kuai?" "Okay (eyebrow raised). I'd like one." "You'd like one what?" "An envelope." "Then you need to go buy one." "I can't buy one here?" "No. You have to go to the stationary store." "I can buy sugar, flour, and vitamins...but not an envelope?..." I'm much to passive a person to really have it out with the guy, but I wanted to soooo bad.

Fortunately, Unfortunately

2009-03-26T23:39:00.002+08:00

I remember when I was in second grade my teacher Mrs. Woods had us all sit around her stool as she read us the book "Fortunately, Unfortunately" and it went something like, "Fortunately I got to go swimming today..." and then you turn the page, "Unfortunately, there were alligators in the pool," then you turn the page, "Fortunately the alligators didn't have any teeth in their mouths..." page turn, "Unfortunately all their teeth were in my icecream," etc. and I feel like I'm living that book right now, so here is my own personal...

FORTUNATELY, UNFORTUNATELY

Fortunately I have a healthy, growing boy...

Unfortunately that means that I'm always running after him (I know what you're thinking, If I have to run after a scooter, what am I going to do when he's a walker?) and my house is a mess.

Fortunately I have a couch to throw everything on when my baby finds it on the floor.

Unfortunately he's just learned to pull himself up to a standing position using the couch so nothing on there is safe anymore.

Fortunately I have enough money to buy diapers

Unfortunately those diapers somehow fill with poo each day.

Fortunately I have in-laws who love to spend time with Ethan

Unfortunately that means when we go to grandma's and grandpa's to eat (which is three times a week now that we have Ethan) Ethan does not get to bed until really late which means I can't get to bed until late which means a cranky mommy in the morning.

Fortunately I have in-laws who are more than willing to babysit for me...actually a lot of the time they insist on babysitting for me

Unfortunately this means they are constantly telling us that moving more that 20 minutes away from them would be a mistake so we should live in the apartment above theirs...it's for sale.

Fortunately I have a husband who loves his son and his wife and would do anything for us.

Unfortunately I'm always taking advantage of that love and saying things like, "We should eat out tonight," and well...

Fortunately I have a visiting teaching companion who is willing to go do visits with me

Unfortunately we visit using such topics as: "Joy's butt is growing," and "What are you going to wear when you don't fit into these anymore?"...okay, they didn't say that last one but it was implied.
Fortunately I live on an island full of tradition, culture, and exotic creatures.

Unfortunately one of those "exotic creatures" includes cockroaches as long and fat as your thumb.

Fortunately those kind don't get in my house very often, but,

Unfortunately sometimes they do get in and this last time I found one in my baby's room after I had let him scream in there by himself (with a flying cockroach!) for 10 minutes.

Fortunately I have a broom that with one whack I can knock off a cockroaches antanae (both of them. I was so scared it would run away and I'd have to tear the room apart to find it but nope, it came right out in the open and called me on)

Unfortunately after killing it you have to clean it up....ew!

FINALLY!!!

2009-03-19T23:04:00.004+08:00

The only reason that I am updating now is because my baby's asleep and so I finally have time to put away dinner, clean the dishes, hang up the last of the laundry, and clean up the poo diaper that still sitting on my bathroom floor. Just because I don't want to face any of this, I'm sitting here writing a blog. Yay for procrastination! Let's see...my boy has his two bottom teeth with which he loves to bite his mom (did I mention I HATE breastfeeding...and I think that made my very last male viewer decide he's done reading this blog for the rest of his life). He's a scooter now which keeps me on my toes. I don't know what it is about unreachable things, but Ethan's all about trying to get under the couch and into the corner where all the outlets are and so on. It's been an adventure in bathing lately. I've been washing my boy in the bathroom sink which is really too small for him but the alternative is just too hard on my back (I can't believe I just wrote that. I sound so old), and I wash his face and hair first, then take off his diaper and put his whole body in the water. This prevents me from getting peed on. Well these last two times (you think I'd learn to check his diaper before I start this process) he has had poo in his diaper. So I put Ethan on my left arm, take the diaper off with my right, drop the diaper on the side of the sink when I realize its got a big poo in it, then stabalize Ethan on my left arm while trying to keep his bum away from my body and watching the diaper as it is slowly slipping its way toward the bath water, pulling the poo diaper away and then rushing out to find baby wipes with a baby still on my arm. I find the baby wipe box (one of those plastic that you can keep refilling) stick my hand in where it gets stuck and my poopy baby wriggling around on my left arm still. I can't get my hand out for the life of me, so I use my foot to help me release my hand...are you picturing this with me? I am SUPER MOM! In the end my baby is clean and asleep, but there is a poopy diaper still on my bathroom floor. And do you want to know how lame I am. My husband says to me, why don't I take you to burger king (I know that sounds lame but that's what I choose when I want American) before we go house hunting? We'll make it a date. We can take Ethan to Grandma's so it'll be just you and me. So we go and we get all the way to Burger King when I realize I haven't taken a shower today...or yesterday. This never used to happen before I had a kid and what's sadder is I didn't even realize it until I got to Burger King and felt like everybody was looking at me and saying, "Who's the nappy white girl?"...and there's still poo on my bathroom floor! Does every mommy feel like this or is it just me? I asked my husband if he'd still love me if I was really fat and never took a shower and he said, "You are so beautiful." and then I said, "Am I clean now too?" and then he looked like he wasn't sure what he should say, "Yes, you are clean." and I said, "Now I know you're lying." and he said, "But that's what you wanted me to say, right?" He makes me laugh...
And here's so you don't think this mommy just stays home and doesn't shower, this is my this Saturday schedule:
8:30-9:30 Primary Presidency Meeting
10:00-12:00 Attend Stake Primary Training Meeting
1:30-3:00 Cleaning tents (from the Stake Young Women's camp)
4:00-5:00 Prepare for Stake Young Women Training Meeting
5:00-6:30 Officiate at Stake Young Women Training Meeting
7:00-9:00 Relief Society Activity (Made a commitment so I have to go or send someone in my place...do you think Max would be willing to do that?)
7:30-8:30 Baptism...I somehow agreed to give the talk to welcome her to Relief Society
6:30-8:00 Meeting for the Qishan Chapel open house...I am supposed to design a "Young Women" room and provide tour guides for the room...3 days worth...Oh and DAVID BEDNAR WILL BE THERE!!!!
Is anybody seeing and issues with the scheduling because I SEE NOOOOOO PROBLEMS!!!
Here, look at some cute pictures of my son:

Some Firsts

2009-02-16T23:40:00.003+08:00

Ethan's been having some firsts that need to be recorded somewhere and since I know you all are so interested, this is where it's getting written. We started him on mashed bananas, prunes, and rice cereal a couple weeks ago. It's such a pain, but we're pushing through it because I want to quit nursing as soon as possible (I don't want to be the mom with the kid screaming "MILK!" in sacrament meeting while tugging on his mom's shirt). He started rolling over about four days ago, on Tuesday I think. We went into his bedroom and found that he had rolled over on his back and by the end of the day he was rolling back and forth from tummy to back and back to tummy like he'd been doing it behind our backs for weeks. And tonight he wouldn't eat like his normal self and he's been crying and crying. I thought, "Wouldn't that be funny if he had a tooth." So I stuck my finger in his mouth and got bit by his bottom left hand tooth. I put some teething medicine on it, but missed a few times and got his tongue and lips. Then he kept moving his mouth like something weird was going on so I put a little on my lip and lost all feeling on that spot...I put it all over his mouth. No mother of the year awards for me this year. We'll try again next year.

Chinese New Year

2009-01-24T19:51:00.007+08:00

This is Ethan getting a red envelope from grandma

And from grandpa. 4,000 quai...that's over 100 dollars american. Sounds like a good deal? Wrong! You spend the rest of your life trying to remember who gave your kid how much so you can give it all back. My kids already raked in 8,000 quai and he hasn't even gone to my mother-in-law's family yet. I figure though, if this year and next year we don't return the red envelopes, people won't give them anymore. We're labled cheap jerks, but the I don't have to worry about where I'm going to come up with the money to give people back their red envelopes and wondering what the heck my kid is going to do with 500 dollars american every year.

Chinese New Years Eve was on Sunday this year so we thought it would be a good time to pull out this gem. It was sooooo cute! Thanks Martha.

Thanks Martha for this blanket as well and Colton for the hat...I think it looks handsome on him.

This is just so darn cute we had to include it.

And this is the gem I finally got to upload. It's not him pooping, but it's pretty darn cute anyway. I hope you all enjoy.

Hives

2009-01-13T05:42:00.003+08:00

That's right. I woke up yesterday morning covered in hives. I have them all over my neck, the lower half of my face, all over my chest (that means boobs) and anywhere on my body that has a pit (armpit, legpit, elbowpit). I'm hating life. So last night during my sons last feeding I lost my patience. He's taken to pinching lately. That's right, as if breast feeding wasn't bad enough now as he eats he idly pinches by boob and when I pull his hand away he looks up at me (in the process ripping off my nipple) as if I'm the one with the problem. Anyway, last night I lost it because I was in so much pain so I gave the baby to Max mid-feeding and went out for a chocolate run. When I got back the baby was asleep. I kept waiting for him to wake up to finish eating but he didn't wake up. What does that mean for me? I'm up at 3:30 in the morning in excruciating pain because one of my boobs is a rock. I finally woke the poor little guy up at 5:00 to eat because I couldn't handle it anymore. The good news is I got some more stuff ready for our stake young womens camp and I'm updating the blog...Does anybody know how to make those stupid passoffs in the camp manual fun?

Kind of Lame, but It's an Update

2009-01-07T22:31:00.002+08:00

It's a new year...so here's the resolutions:
1. Read the scriptures every day.
2. Keep a budget (Hah!)
3. Exercise three times a week
4. Family Home Evening once a week (We're flexible on the Monday thing around here)
5. Write in my journal every day

I think these are all doable, but since I make the same resolutions every year, we'll see how these go. I don't ever get discouraged though because I figure, no matter what happens, it will be funny by the end of the year

I just have to write this gem for you all. My boy hasn't pooed in 3 days so we all knew it was coming and it was going to be a blowout. So this morning I said to my husband that we should have a poo any time now and he pooed right on cue. I looked at my husband and said, "I think it's your turn." He looked so terrified. "Please don't make me do it." The great thing about my husband is that he will do it if I tell him to, but he just looked so terrified. "Why are you so scared to change his diaper?" His answer was a very clearly spoken, "Ewwwwww." "You have got to be kidding me. It's baby poo. And you've never changed his diaper before. How do you know it's ewww?" "I changed his poo diaper once." And then it all came back to me. It was the first time I left Max alone with the baby. It was a blow out as well, but Max didn't wait for him to get done pooing before he took off the diaper. Beautiful! So I changed the diaper this time, but as I was mormon cursing over the poo up the back and on the clothes and towel and in the hair as I pulled off the undershirt, Max said to me, "Maybe you should give him a bath." I blew up. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" That terrified look again, "Would you like to give him a bath?" "No, no. That's not right either. You keep saying 'you'." Then he LAUGHED and said, "I'll run the water for Ethan's bath?" "And who's going to give him the bath?" but he was already gone. What kills me is he makes me laugh and then he knows he's off the hook. It's like that Simpson movie when Homer brings home the pig. I'm MARGE.

Men!!!

2008-12-30T22:50:00.005+08:00

He's started to giggle with us.

I thought you all should see this awesome picture of me torturing my son.

So I just have to ask this question before I tell you all about the holidays here in Taiwan. I'm just wondering if my husband said this because he's Taiwanese or because he's a man. Ladies I want you to ask your husband/boyfriend/acquaintance of the male variety whether or not he thinks this is a good compliment:

I remember when I used to look at your stomach and it was so flat. You were really beautiful.

Yes ladies, my husband said this to me with all the sincerity of his heart like I was supposed to melt like butter. Let's just say my butter turned into a grease fire. We're still friends but he's afraid to say "nice" things to me anymore. I was thinking this might be a Taiwanese slip-up but I remember after a really bad haircut at the MTC an Elder that everyone new was tactless asked me whether or not I liked my haircut. I tried to pretend that it was fine and he said, "I liked it better the way it was before." Then another Elder, seeing this Elder's obvious blunder tried to make up for it by saying, "Don't worry Sister, it'll grow back." So, I'm thinking this is not just a Taiwanese thing.

Okay, Christmas was a blast. I was getting all sad because my house was not Christmassy, so my husband and I went to the stationary store and bought red and green paper. I went nuts on homemade paper decorations. I thought this was a good idea because every year my kids could help me make the homemade decorations and that would be a fun memory for them every year. My husband thought it was fun to make this with me this year. He was in charge of the fire. I did the paint.

We don't have pictures of it but I also made a red and green paper chain that we hung all around the living room and I put up pictures of Santa that I made to look like stain glass windows elementary school style.

I also found this little gem at the super market. When I say "little" I mean little. I've never decorated a gingerbread house before so I bought it for 3 american dollars and we did it. It was fun to watch Max meticulously put this thing together, just like he does everything meticulously.

We invited Max's family over for Christmas Eve dinner that was breakfast. I spent all day getting everything ready. We had sausage, bacon, pancakes, hashbrowns, omelets, and orange juice. When Dad sat down to eat he asked Max in Taiwanese (but my Taiwanese is getting better and better so he can't hide so much from me as he could before), "Where's the rice?" I just couldn't get the American BREAKFAST for dinner idea across. They believe now that that's what Americans eat for dinner when there's no more hamburger in the freezer.

Mom brought presents which were mostly chocolate and clothes that people had given us a long time ago but she kept forgetting to bring over. She did however buy him the cutest Japanese robe ever and just as soon as he's big enough to wear it, I'll put that picture up. She was pretty proud of herself that she new to bring presents on Christmas. We got her and dad a calendar with Ethan's pictures, which I will be sending to my parents by e-mail and can send to anyone else that wants it, just give us the heads-up and an e-mail address. and we made wreathes using Ethan's hands (he'll need therapy after what we put him through for that wreath) which we also gave to her. You can see our wreath on our fire place.

Christmas day I was really lame. I totally didn't get my husband a Christmas present in all the prep for Christmas Eve. Max didn't care because these last two years are the first time he's ever celebrated Christmas, but I cared, so I made everybody wait to open their presents until I had a present for him to open. So we opened our presents at the same time you in the states were opening yours. I gave Max a cookbook (I know it sound awful but he loves 'em) and he bought me a mosqiuto zapper. The best Christmas ever. Ethan got a lot of rattles.

2008-12-17T22:59:00.002+08:00

So I'm finally updating this thing. I'm doing it with my husbands computer and the spacebar on his computer has to be hit in order for it to work, so if by the end of this all the words are one, just know I've gotten frustrated and given up. It's the holiday season and except for our cute little tree and the very very taiwanese wreath I made by myself in Relief Society, there is no sign of it here. Kind of depressing but we are going to the Christmas concert the missionaries are doing on Friday. Hopefully that will make me feel the spirit a little bit better. It does pop up in the weirdest places. My mother-in-law who is Bhudist keeps complaining that there are no presents under our Christmas tree. What's that all about? I've invited them over for Christmas Eve dinner for which I will be making American breakfast. I told them this and they just didn't get it. After trying to explain to them why breakfast for dinner WAS a good idea, I just told them to eat dinner before they come and if they don't eat any of the food I make, no worries because Iwill totally eat it all. Let's talk about food for a minute. I am starving all the time. When I was pregnant I gained about 5 lbs during the entire pregnancy. I was starving, but I was craving American and after I'd eat, I'd always get heart burn. Let's just say I love being not pregnant. But now that I can eat, I'm eating more than a horse. After I had Ethan, everybody was saying how quickly I lost the baby weight. No one is saying that now. They say breast feeding helps you lose weight. Ihave not found that to be the case. I've found it has made me eat more than triplets could consume.

I do have to say I have the cutest baby on the planet, and while I never want to be pregnant again, I do want six more babies just like him. He's really well tempered. He's one of those that can just hang out with you as long as he's been fed. He sits in his stroller for hours just watching things go by and swatting at his Elmo. "Why don't you let him play on the floor?" you ask. Well I'd love to but then he'd crack his head open on the tile. I try to give him "roll over" time on the bed. It's little things you miss when you don't have them any more.

I've video taped this kid doing somany cute things, but do you think I can get them to upload. Oh yes people, I have tried to update this blog several times with the gem of my kid pooing but the computer takes hours and then says it's not going to happen so I get frustrated and give up.

Just to chronical the weird experience it is to be a mom in a totally unfamiliar culture, here's a couple of "fun" experiences. I took my kid to the doctors this morning for his shots (I know I'm a bad mom but we don't get it all done in one sweet visit like I thought was the case. We've already gone 3 times and are going to have to go back 50 billion timesmore). The doctor says this time he may get a fever so here's some medicine. It's powder! If any of you have ever taken chinese medicine you know they grind up herbs and its a powder but this hospital is not a chinese medicine hospital. What am I supposed to do with powder?! Put it in waterand giveit to him in a bottle. So you moms at home, can you see where this is going to go. You think giving your kid medicine from a dropper was a hard...Anyway, this is all leading to the part where I thank all the family at home (I know I'm lame that I'm doing this on the blog when I haven't sent any kind of thank you cards or anything yet) for the shower gifts and an especial thanksto martha for bringing them over (I'm going to get those pictures up one day too). I'm feeling especially thankful to Suz if i'm not mistaken for supplying me with Children's tylenol which is totally replacing the mysterious chinese powder. Why can I not find tylenol in Taiwan?! it's pretty basic stuff, isn't it?

As an update on everyday life...there's really not much to tell. I'm wrapped up in my callings at church. Girls camp is coming up. OH THE DRAMA!!! I hated camping and didn't appreciate at all what my leaders went through to give us a decent camp and now I'm paying for it in the most terrible ways. And I've been called to the primary in our ward. How do I describe this experience? After chasing kids out of the street after snacktime that they're NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE, let's just say I have anxiety attacks every Saturday. I have to laugh though. So here's a precious moment from primary. I was teaching the song "When Joseph Went to Bethlehem" in Chinese which is a kick in the head all of its own and I asked the kids why they had to use a cloth bag for the bread and cheese and not a plastic bag and one of our five year olds laughed like that was hillarious and said that plastic bags are for garbage.

Whelp friends, until next time. Have a Merry Christmas

Precious Moments

2008-11-03T10:23:00.004+08:00

This is as close to baby announcements as we get around here.

And this is as close as we get to halloween costumes. As you can see his lower half is quite disproportionate to the rest of his body. That's not because of the camera angle. That's because of the cloth diaper he is wearing. We thought he looked a lot like a bumble bee.

I like this shot because it shows his yin-yang belly button.

Not sure what happened here, but this is definately a keeper.

I just realized it has almost been two months since I've had this baby, and I haven't written at all how much fun it is to be a mom. I remember when I was younger it seemed like I was always babysitting. I don't know how it is in most people's families, but in the larson household every week you had your day of babysitting the younger siblings. That meant that for that day you could not play with your friends and if you did, that friend was helping you babysit. How many friends want to come over and help you babysit? We had a system however where you could trade days with someone else for babysitting. I got traded in a lot according to my recollection, and I didn't always cash in those trade days because I had no place to go when I was in elementary. I had a lot of friends at school but none of them lived around my house so once I went home, I was home. For this reason I was asked to babysit nieces and nephews a lot. I hated it. To be fair, the nieces and nephews I was always paid to babysit, but the money was never the reason I babysat. I had no friends that I hung out with, so what did I need money for. Anyway, I was babysitting all the time (which I have to admit I am really grateful for now because if I had no experience with babies and I had a baby in Taiwan, just think all the crazy CRAZY things the locals would be teaching me and I would be believing). My point is I remember talking to my oldest sister who had many children at the time (she has 9 now) and her telling me that she hates babysitting too, but it's different when it's your own children. I thought that must be true because she had to babysit all of us (she was the oldest of 12) and she was still willing to have child after child. So when I got pregnant with Ethan I expected it to be drastically different than babysitting. Guess what? It's really not that different. Don't get me wrong. There are differences, but the differences are subtle. For instance, when he cries and cries and cries, I still want to pull my hair out, but now I give him a kiss before I put him down to pull out my hair. I still hate to change poopy diapers, but now I'm so happy when he poos because I know that he won't be feeling that pain in his tummy anymore. In the middle of the night or in the middle of my naps when I hear him cry I still groan inside and hope he'll go back to sleep but now when he doesn't go back to sleep, I smile at him squirming around in his bed for a little while, before I pick him up. It's so cute! I really do love being a mommy.

Frustrations with Breast Feeding

2008-10-29T13:51:00.002+08:00

I put my topic boldly in the title so if there is anyone who can't stomach an honest look at breast feeding (not literally, I'm not going to be showing any pictures here) then they should probably skip reading this entry. Speaking of taking a look at things honestly, here's a couple things I wish someone had honestly told me about child birth. Contractions feel like period cramps. My doctors told me it would be a tigtening of the stomach. I had all sorts of tightening of the stomach for all sorts of reasons. If they had just told me it was like being on your period, I would have been all over it instead of wondering whether my needing to go to the bathroom was a labor pain. And speaking of going to the bathroom, when it is time to have the baby, it feels like you need to poo. I'm just saying it like it is because I wish someone had said it to me that way, because then I wouldn't have been having anxiety attacks on top of everything else about whether I was going to be pooing and having a baby at the same time.
Anyway, back to breast feeding. I had heard horror stories about breast feeding and all it entails, and I've also heard all the benefits of breast feeding so my original plan was to ask the doctor how long he recommended I breast feed and he said at least 6 months and then I would put him on formula and whatever else he can eat, but this idea was blown to smithereans (is that how you spell that?) a few months ago by stupid mainland China economics. Seriously, the people over there need to be prayed for because they are all victims. I don't know if you heard but a few months ago newborn babies in China were dying of KIDNEY STONES. Can you imagine. Who's ever heard of babies getting kidney stones? I've heard passing a stone is worse than labor... Anyway, turns our some company milked cows and the milk wouldn't pass inspection, so they put some poisonous chemical in it that tricked the tests. Then they turned that milk into milk powder and started selling it apparently all around the world, or somehow it ended up all around the world. Things are getting pulled of the shelves all over the place here. Apparently M&M's has the powder too, but they haven't pulled that off the shelves yet so I hurried and ate a bag before they did :). Anyway, the powdered milk was obviously in the formula and so many babies died, and so their testing all the formulas in Taiwan and finding all sorts of crazy stuff that shouldn't be given to humans, let alone babies. So the moral is, my plans have changed and I'm going to have to breast feed a lot longer than I planned.
So here's a list of my frustrations in no particular order:
1. When my baby latches on, it feels like I've attached a very small and powerful vaccuum to my nipple.
2. I have hickies all over my boobs where the baby missed. It just takes one suck.
3. When the boob's out and my baby is approaching his dinner, he gets all excited and throws his hands around, often scratching my already discolored nipple.
4. When he is eating, sometimes he gets a bubble in his tummy, and rather than letting go and crying or burping, he hangs on and starts thrashing about, giving me the impression that he wants to yank my nipple right off my boob.
5. When I hear the baby cry, my boobs hurt. When I watch TV and see a baby, my boobs hurt. When I think to myself, "My baby is soooo cute," MY BOOBS HURT!
6. They leak, and sometimes squirt. I know what you are thinking. "They have pads for that." I wear them, but I haven't figured out how to control them when the baby suddenly lets go or when I'm getting ready to feed the baby, or the baby is done... I wash clothes and sheets every day now.
7. Pumping is not only time consuming, it's mortifying. I quit pumping even though everyone says you have to pump the excess. I can see the reasoning in that, but if I pumped after every feeding, I would literally be spending all of my time feeding and pumping. That stupid pump takes hours. And at least when you have a baby sucking, you can see that it's human and therefore you are human, but when it's a machine...moooo!

Here's my specialty list. It's called Frustrations With Breastfeeding In Taiwan:
8. If the baby is crying, no matter for what reason, the person holding him will hand him back to you and expect you to pull it out right there in front of everyone. Joy: "He just ate. I think he's just sleepy." Other: "No, I don't think you fed him enough." (Waiting expectantly). Joy: He's got a wet diapar, I'll change him. Other: Feed him first. [Please note that there is no "I think..." or "maybe you should..." at the beginning of this command to soften the do-what-your-elders-tell-you feeling. Please also note that it is not only family that does this to me. If it was, I wouldn't be so weirded out about it. Family at least has an investment in this baby, but it's people I've maybe talked to twice in my life.]
9. Apparently in Taiwan they believe there is a direct corelation between the size of your breasts and the amount of milk you are able to produce. Because of this misguided notion, I had this very LOUD conversation with a woman at church whom prior to my being pregnant had never talked to and after being pregnant only talked to two or three times:
Lady: "I made some soup for you and you have to drink it."
Joy: "Thank you."
Lady: "It will make it so you have enough milk."
Joy: "Thank you."
Lady: "How much mild do you have?"
Joy: "I just bought a carton yesterday?" This is me trying to get out of where this conversation is obviously going, but she obviously didn't get it because...
Lady: "No, I mean breast milk."
Joy: "It's enough."
Lady: "That's impossible. Look how small your boobs are. Look at Xingyi (a girl who also just had a baby), she's so much bigger than you." (For the record, I am very happy with the size of my boobs.)
Joy: "How much milk you have doesn't depend on the size of your boobs."
Lady: "Make sure you drink the soup. That will help you have enough milk. Do you drip?"
Joy: "Excuse me?"
Lady: "Does your milk drip?"
Joy: "Yes."
Lady: "Make sure you drink all the soup. I'll ask you next week if you drank all of it."
Joy: "I'll drink the soup."
The soup was an entire chicken, beak, claws, intestines and all cooked in chinese herbal medicine. I took a sip and drank all of that sip and gave the rest to my husband and the garbage can. Which brings me to my next frustration...
10. The soup. They believe here that after you have a baby, your body rebuilds itself and if you give it the right things, you will be set for life. If you give it the wrong things, your only chance to correct it is to have another baby and eat the right things. My mother-in-law feels it is her responsibility to make me this soup EVERY DAY! It's blistering hot and I'm drinking blistering hot soup every day. She tells me every time she sees me, don't drink water, that will make your belly big. Drink soup. "I'm not leaving until you've drunk all this soup," and then she sits down with Ethan and really doesn't leave until the soup is gone. It's killing me! She slapped my hand once when I reached for my husbands glass of cold water at the dinner table. She was embarrassed after she had done it. It was a reaction. I have to remember that she is really doing this because she loves me. If she didn't, she wouldn't make the soup ever day which is expensive and tiring for her...right?

I do need to say that I do not regret even a little bit my choice to come to Taiwan and the later choice of having my family in Taiwan. You'll see what I mean later when I take all the stories from this blog, compile them into a book, and make a million bucks off the proceeds.